Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Nowadays an increasing number of people are becoming concerned about their health and the quality of their diet. There are two diametrically opposed opinions on the matter. Some people believe that each and every individual is responsible for their own health while others state that it is the government that must ensure that the citizens have healthy eating habits.
Personally, I believe that people bear full responsibility for their diets for a number of reasons. First, nowadays there is a vast variety of products that everyone can choose from, ensuring a balanced diet consisting of different types of products with sufficient vitamins, proteins, carbohydrates and fats. Everyone can balance their diets according to these factors and also based on their taste preferences. For example vegetarians will prefer beans rich in protein while omnivorous eaters might opt for meat instead. Secondly, while governments cannot considerably vary in their healthy eating programs usually adhering to 'one size fits all' approach, individuals know exactly what they need in order to keep fit and healthy both generally speaking and in terms of food. We take tailored approach as we know exactly what we need to succeed in life, be strong and healthy.
However, others argue that the government is fully responsible for the kind of food its population consume because they make decisions regarding the quality of food their country produce and import as well as prices. For instance, in many developing countries people rarely have access to high quality food, thus being forced to choose something cheap like fast food. Moreover, the government can introduce legislation as regards to what kind of food can be promoted, seen for example in many European countries where the advertising of fast food, alcohol and cigarettes is prohibited. These measure, it is argued, can affect the way we eat and control the diets of the whole population.
In conclusion, while the governments may play a role in the choice of food of its citizens, it is still the responsibility of every individual whether to eat healthy diet or not due to many reasons being that a variety of methods to balance their diets or their finances. After all our life is in our hands!
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add introductory comma Original: Nowadays an increasing Suggested revision: Nowadays, an increasing Why it matters: A comma should separate the introductory adverb from the main clause.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: vast Suggested revision: wide Why it matters: 'Wide variety' is the conventional collocation for a broad range of products.
- 3. Use precise noun Original: products Suggested revision: food Why it matters: 'Food' is more precise because the sentence concerns diet rather than products generally.
- 4. Place adverb naturally Original: governments cannot considerably vary Suggested revision: governments cannot vary considerably Why it matters: The adverb sounds more natural after the verb it modifies.
- 5. Add missing article Original: We take tailored approach Suggested revision: We take a tailored approach Why it matters: The singular count noun 'approach' requires an article.
- 6. Match collective subject Original: consume Suggested revision: consumes Why it matters: The singular collective noun 'population' takes 'consumes' here.
- 7. Fix verb agreement Original: food their country produce and import Suggested revision: food their country produces and imports Why it matters: The singular subject 'country' requires both verbs to end in '-s'.
- 8. Use plural noun Original: measure Suggested revision: measures Why it matters: The determiner 'these' requires the plural noun 'measures'.
- 9. Use concise wording Original: diametrically opposed opinions Suggested revision: opposing views Why it matters: The shorter phrase expresses the contrast clearly without overstatement.
- 10. Remove redundancy Original: each and every individual Suggested revision: each individual Why it matters: 'Each' already conveys the distributive meaning, making 'and every' unnecessary.
- 11. Keep structure parallel Original: according to these factors and also based on Suggested revision: based on these factors and Why it matters: The replacement removes the mismatched combination of 'according to' and 'based on'.
- 12. Clarify modifying clause Original: in their healthy eating programs usually adhering Suggested revision: in their healthy-eating programmes, which usually adhere Why it matters: A relative clause clearly attaches the act of adhering to the government programmes.
Suggested Rewrites
- Nowadays an increasing Nowadays, an increasing
- vast wide
- products food
- governments cannot considerably vary governments cannot vary considerably
- We take tailored approach We take a tailored approach
- consume consumes
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay addresses both perspectives, sustains a clear personal view, and develops its discussion through relevant examples and a logical four-paragraph structure. Its main limitation is recurring grammatical and collocational awkwardness, particularly in agreement, articles, and the final sentence, which occasionally blurs otherwise strong ideas. The highest-priority improvement is a careful language edit that makes complex sentences more precise and idiomatic.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and the writer's opinion are fully addressed with relevant reasoning, though a few claims are generalized or only briefly justified.
Qualify broad claims about government programmes and individual knowledge, and explain the limits of each position more precisely.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through clearly focused paragraphs, with generally effective cohesive devices and referencing.
Tighten a few long sentences and make the transition into the conclusion more concise to preserve the strong progression.
Lexical Resource
A broad and flexible vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, although several collocations and expressions sound awkward or imprecise.
Replace phrases such as 'take tailored approach' and 'as regards to' with precise, idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are used frequently and meaning remains clear, but article, agreement, and number errors recur across the response.
Check determiners and subject-verb agreement carefully, especially with collective nouns, singular governments, and plural demonstratives.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.