Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Some people argue that, in an interconnected world, the intensifying business and cultural contact between nations bringsbring numerous benefitsnumerous significant benefits. Others, however, raise concerns over the potential loss of national and cultural identities because of this contactdue to this. In this essay, I will discuss both perspectives and argueopine that the homogenizing influence of dominant cultures may overshadow and diminish the unique heritage of smaller nations.
On the one hand, individuals who believe that the growing trade and cultural connection between nations brings considerable benefits argue that such contact fosters cross-cultural understanding and appreciation, leading to enhanced cooperationenhanced cooperation and collaboration among nations. For instance, international trade allows countries to access a diverse range of products and resources, contributing to economic growth and improved standards of living. Additionally, cultural exchanges through art, music, and literature provide valuable insights into the diverse traditions and practices of different societies, fostering a sense of unity and mutual respect among people from various backgrounds.
On the other hand, those who view this trend as a threat to national identities opine that the pervasiveoverpowering reach of media and popular culture fromof influential nations may diminish the unique cultural aspectsthe cultural and unique aspects of smaller nations. The widespread dissemination of movies, music, and fashion from influential nations can lead smaller communities to emulate these trendslead to the emulation of these trends by smaller communities, resulting in the gradual erosion of their distinct cultural practices. For instance, indigenous music and art forms may struggle to compete with the mass appeal of international pop culture, and may gradually fade into obscuritygradually fading into obscurity. Moreover, the economic effectsaspect of globalization may also contribute to the weakening of national identities. As multinational corporations expand their operations globally, local businesses in smaller nations may struggle to compete, leading to the loss of traditional trades and craftsmanship. For example, traditional artisans and craftsmen may find it challenging to sustain their livelihoods when cheap, mass-produced goods flood the market.
In conclusion, while business and cultural contact between countries has some advantages, there is a compelling case to be made for the potential loss of national and cultural identities. The encroachment of dominant cultures and the economic challenges faced by local industries all contribute to this concern. Societies need to maketake conscious efforts to preserve and promote their unique heritage amidst the ever-evolving forces of globalization.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response fully explores both perspectives through relevant economic and cultural examples, while maintaining a clear preference for protecting smaller nations' identities. Its main weakness is occasional over-formality and minor imprecision in collocation and agreement. Tighten phrases concerning the unique aspects of nations, reduce repeated wording, and proofread subject-verb agreement to make an already coherent argument more natural and precise.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed directly with well-developed explanations and examples, and the writer's preference remains clear from the introduction through the conclusion.
Make the final recommendation more specific by briefly indicating how societies could protect local heritage while retaining international contact.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced, with focused paragraphs and cohesive links that guide the reader smoothly through the two perspectives.
Reduce repeated transitional patterns and tighten the longer paragraph so each supporting point has equal prominence.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion of globalisation, cultural erosion, and economic pressure, with only occasional awkward or repeated phrasing.
Prefer natural, concise collocations and avoid over-formal choices such as opine when a simpler reporting verb is more idiomatic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence forms is used accurately and flexibly, with only minor lapses in agreement and phrasing.
Proofread compound subjects and singular collective noun phrases to eliminate the remaining subject-verb agreement slips.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.