Some people think that secondary school children should study international news as one of school subjects. Other people think that it is a waste of valuable school time.
Sample Response
There are divergent opinions regarding whether secondary school children should dedicate time to studying international news. Proponents argue that exposing students to global affairs fosters critical thinking skills and awareness of the world beyond their immediate surroundings. Conversely, opponents contend that such pursuits detract from more essential subjects and fail to directly contribute to academic success.
Advocates for incorporating international news into the curriculum emphasize its educational benefits. They assert that understanding current events on a global scale cultivates informed citizens who can actively participate in society. For instance, learning about geopolitical conflicts or economic trends provides context for historical events and fosters empathy towards people from diverse backgrounds. This exposure can inspire students to engage with complex issues and develop a broader perspective, essential for navigating an interconnected world.
However, detractors argue that the limited time in school should be dedicated to core subjects that directly impact academic achievement. They posit that while awareness of international events may be beneficial, it is secondary to mastering foundational skills like mathematics and language arts. Moreover, they raise concerns about the potential bias in reporting and the overwhelming nature of global news, which may confuse or distress young learners.
In my view, integrating international news into the curriculum offers significant educational value. Exposure to diverse perspectives and global issues enhances students’ critical thinking skills and fosters a sense of global citizenship. While it may require careful planning to ensure alignment with academic goals, the benefits of cultivating informed and engaged citizens outweigh the perceived drawbacks.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise wording Original: dedicate time to studying international news Suggested revision: spend time studying international news Why it matters: This is a more direct and natural way to express the same activity.
- 2. Use a precise reference Original: such pursuits Suggested revision: studying international news Why it matters: Naming the activity directly makes the opponents' claim clearer than the vague phrase “such pursuits.”
- 3. Clarify the causal claim Original: understanding current events on a global scale cultivates informed citizens Suggested revision: understanding global current events helps cultivate informed citizens Why it matters: “Helps cultivate” expresses the educational contribution more naturally than assigning the whole causal action to “understanding.”
- 4. Clarify the relationship Original: provides context for historical events Suggested revision: provides context for understanding historical events Why it matters: Adding “understanding” makes clear how current events contribute to students' study of history.
- 5. Use the usual preposition Original: towards Suggested revision: for Why it matters: “Empathy for” is the more conventional collocation in this context.
- 6. Clarify the modifier Original: develop a broader perspective, essential for navigating Suggested revision: develop a broader perspective that is essential for navigating Why it matters: A relative clause makes the intended link between the perspective and its value unambiguous.
- 7. Choose a precise phrase Original: the limited time in school Suggested revision: limited classroom time Why it matters: “Classroom time” refers more precisely to the finite instructional time at issue.
- 8. Use a formal verb Original: impact Suggested revision: affect Why it matters: “Affect” is a concise formal verb for describing influence on academic outcomes.
- 9. Clarify the noun phrase Original: the potential bias in reporting Suggested revision: the potential for bias in news reporting Why it matters: This wording identifies both the possibility of bias and the specific kind of reporting involved.
- 10. Clarify the reference Original: While it may require careful planning Suggested revision: While this integration may require careful planning Why it matters: Replacing the pronoun with its referent removes ambiguity at the start of the concluding sentence.
- 11. Strengthen idea links Suggested revision: Connect the examples about historical context and empathy more explicitly to the paragraph's opening claim about educational benefits. Why it matters: The examples are relevant, but a clearer link would make the paragraph's progression more explicit.
- 12. Order the concerns Suggested revision: Signal the shift from curriculum priorities to concerns about news content so the two strands of opposition are easier to distinguish. Why it matters: The paragraph moves from limited school time to bias and emotional impact without clearly marking the change in focus.
Suggested Rewrites
- dedicate time to studying international news spend time studying international news
- such pursuits studying international news
- understanding current events on a global scale cultivates informed citizens understanding global current events helps cultivate informed citizens
- provides context for historical events provides context for understanding historical events
- towards for
- develop a broader perspective, essential for navigating develop a broader perspective that is essential for navigating
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its balanced, fluent treatment of both perspectives and its clearly stated position, supported by relevant educational reasoning. The main limitation is that the discussion remains somewhat general, particularly when considering how international news could be incorporated without displacing core subjects. To improve further, develop the practical qualification in the conclusion with a specific curriculum model or more concrete supporting detail.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both perspectives are addressed directly and the writer's position is clear, relevant, and well supported throughout.
Extend the practical qualification by explaining how schools could include international news while protecting time for core subjects.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument is logically sequenced, paragraphs have clear central purposes, and cohesive language is controlled and unobtrusive.
Create an even stronger link between the drawbacks paragraph and the final proposal for careful curriculum planning.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys complex educational ideas naturally, with strong control of topic-specific and less common language.
Refine further by replacing a few broad expressions such as significant educational value with more concrete wording tied to the argument.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence forms is used accurately and flexibly, with errors rare and communication consistently clear.
Maintain this control while varying sentence openings slightly more to avoid repeated subject-led patterns in the body paragraphs.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that secondary school children should study international news as one of school subjects. Other people think that it is a waste of valuable school time.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.