Some people think that secondary school children should study international news as one of the school subjects. Others, however, think that it is a waste of valuable school time and has no value. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
The debate surrounding whether secondary school students should dedicate part of their curriculum to studying international news is multifaceted and warrants careful consideration. Advocates argue that exposure to global events is crucial for developing well-rounded individuals capable of navigating an increasingly interconnected world. Conversely, opponents suggest that such endeavors detract from core subjects and fail to directly contribute to academic success.
Proponents of integrating international news into the curriculum highlight its role in fostering global awareness and critical thinking skills. They contend that in today’s interconnected world, understanding global events is essential for informed citizenship and effective participation in society. For instance, learning about international conflicts or environmental issues not only broadens students’ perspectives but also cultivates empathy and a sense of responsibility towards global challenges.
However, critics raise valid concerns about the practicality of incorporating international news into an already packed curriculum. They argue that time spent on global affairs could be better allocated to mastering fundamental subjects like mathematics and language arts. Moreover, they caution against the potential bias in news reporting and the overwhelming nature of global events, which may lead to confusion or disengagement among students.
In my opinion, while the inclusion of international news in the curriculum presents challenges, its benefits far outweigh the drawbacks. Exposure to diverse perspectives and global issues enriches students’ educational experiences, equipping them with the skills and knowledge necessary to thrive in an interconnected world. Furthermore, with thoughtful integration and interdisciplinary approaches, studying international news can complement traditional subjects, enhancing students’ critical thinking and analytical skills.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise collocation Original: surrounding Suggested revision: over Why it matters: Debate over whether is a more concise and natural collocation.
- 2. Clarify the subject's role Original: dedicate part of their curriculum to studying international news Suggested revision: study international news as part of their curriculum Why it matters: Students study a subject as part of a curriculum rather than dedicate the curriculum themselves.
- 3. Use a clear reference Original: such endeavors Suggested revision: this proposed subject Why it matters: This proposed subject refers more directly to the inclusion of international news.
- 4. Use direct phrasing Original: fail to directly contribute Suggested revision: do not contribute directly Why it matters: The revised phrase states the opponents' claim more directly.
- 5. Avoid repeated wording Original: in today’s interconnected world Suggested revision: today Why it matters: Today preserves the time reference while avoiding repetition of interconnected world.
- 6. Clarify responsibility Original: responsibility towards global challenges Suggested revision: responsibility for addressing global challenges Why it matters: Responsibility for addressing clearly expresses how students relate to the challenges.
- 7. Use formal wording Original: packed Suggested revision: crowded Why it matters: Crowded is more formal and precise for a curriculum with limited available time.
- 8. Use formal exemplification Original: fundamental subjects like mathematics and language arts Suggested revision: fundamental subjects such as mathematics and language arts Why it matters: Such as is preferable for introducing examples in formal academic writing.
- 9. Add the correct preposition Original: the potential bias in news reporting Suggested revision: the potential for bias in news reporting Why it matters: Potential for bias is the natural grammatical construction for a possible problem.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Furthermore, with thoughtful integration and interdisciplinary approaches, studying international news can complement traditional subjects, enhancing students’ critical thinking and analytical skills. Suggested revision: Furthermore, thoughtfully integrating international news through interdisciplinary approaches can complement traditional subjects and enhance students’ critical thinking and analytical skills. Why it matters: This rewrite clarifies how the approaches relate to integration and gives the sentence a cleaner parallel structure.
Suggested Rewrites
- surrounding over
- dedicate part of their curriculum to studying international news study international news as part of their curriculum
- such endeavors this proposed subject
- fail to directly contribute do not contribute directly
- in today’s interconnected world today
- responsibility towards global challenges responsibility for addressing global challenges
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response fully addresses both views and states a clear opinion, with balanced paragraphing and highly controlled language. Its main limitation is that the arguments remain somewhat general, especially the case against inclusion, so the highest-priority improvement is to develop one concrete classroom example and explain its consequences in greater depth instead of relying mainly on broad claims about curricula and global awareness.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both positions and the writer’s own view are directly addressed, and the main ideas are relevant and sufficiently extended.
Develop the opposing case with a specific educational example and a fuller explanation of its practical consequences.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced, each paragraph has a clear function, and cohesion is consistently well managed.
Strengthen the progression into the final opinion by explicitly showing how the proposed integration answers the critics’ concerns.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and suitably academic, although key terms such as “global” and “interconnected” recur noticeably.
Vary repeated topic language and use a few more concrete terms when discussing curriculum design and classroom outcomes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex sentence forms is used with excellent accuracy and consistently clear punctuation.
Maintain this strong control while experimenting with slightly more concise sentence patterns to make key claims even more direct.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that secondary school children should study international news as one of the school subjects. Others, however, think that it is a waste of valuable school time and has no value. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.