Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employees who are from poor countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Some people believe that developed countries should permit qualified job seekers who are from developing and underdeveloped countries, however, some others argue that it does not necessarily have to impose that discretion. This is not a trivial question to answer. Personally, I agree that there should be such permission for finding jobs from wealthy regions for workers who are originally from poor regions based on national cooperation in encountering poverty and mutual advantages point of views.
To begin with, fighting poverty is an international responsibility, thus there should be some cooperative efforts between rich and poor regions. Since unemployment may be a major concern triggering poverty in destitute areas, one solution to overcome this problem is by creating a joint-partnership with rich countries that have to allow workers who meet the requirement of skills and knowledge to work. By applying this discretion, skilled employees from poor areas can be harnessed to run work effectively and they also may learn and gain experiences of how working in a progressive area and can bring back this experience to their origin for improvement.
Furthermore, employing required and talented people from deprived regions can contribute to a mutual advantage between prosperous and poor cities. For successful cities, this idea can help increase their regional income as knowledgeable human resources are available to operate their factory and other occupation. Meanwhile, for deprived cities, it will help coping with poverty because skilled citizens can elevate their earnings to accomplish better life ahead. Nature of business and globalisation require rich nations to have talented individuals from different parts of the world to better understand the customer segments of other nations and to market their products and service properly. Organisation like Google, Microsoft and Samsung already have employees from different countries and other organisations in rich countries should follow this trend as well.
All in all, employing skilled and qualified workers from poor regions may be a form of national understanding in tackling poverty as well as sharing mutual benefit between rich and poor countries. Life will have a balance when everything is adequate, is not it?
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix clause boundary Original: responsibility, thus Suggested revision: responsibility; thus, Why it matters: Two independent clauses require a semicolon or full stop rather than a comma.
- 2. Fix complement form Original: one solution to overcome this problem is by creating Suggested revision: one solution to this problem is to create Why it matters: The noun “solution” is followed naturally by “to” plus a noun or infinitive phrase.
- 3. Remove redundancy Original: a joint-partnership Suggested revision: a partnership Why it matters: A partnership is already a joint arrangement, so “joint” is redundant.
- 4. Express cooperation clearly Original: rich countries that have to allow Suggested revision: rich countries willing to allow Why it matters: “Willing to allow” matches the proposed cooperative arrangement more accurately.
- 5. Fix noun phrase Original: the requirement of skills and knowledge Suggested revision: the required skills and knowledge Why it matters: The adjective “required” correctly modifies the abilities workers must possess.
- 6. Use policy collocation Original: applying this discretion Suggested revision: adopting this policy Why it matters: A country adopts a policy; it does not normally apply a discretion in this sense.
- 7. Use natural collocation Original: run work effectively Suggested revision: work effectively Why it matters: “Run work” is not a natural collocation for employees performing their jobs.
- 8. Fix experience phrase Original: gain experiences of how working Suggested revision: gain experience of working Why it matters: “Experience” is uncountable here and should be followed by a gerund phrase.
- 9. Clarify destination Original: their origin for improvement Suggested revision: their home countries to support improvement Why it matters: “Home countries” identifies the destination clearly and naturally.
- 10. Choose correct adjective Original: required Suggested revision: qualified Why it matters: People are “qualified” for work, whereas “required” describes what is needed.
- 11. Use natural plural Original: a mutual advantage Suggested revision: mutual benefits Why it matters: “Mutual benefits” is the natural phrase for gains shared by both sides.
- 12. Keep location consistent Original: successful cities Suggested revision: prosperous countries Why it matters: The discussion concerns countries, so shifting to cities makes the comparison inconsistent.
Suggested Rewrites
- responsibility, thus responsibility; thus,
- one solution to overcome this problem is by creating one solution to this problem is to create
- a joint-partnership a partnership
- rich countries that have to allow rich countries willing to allow
- the requirement of skills and knowledge the required skills and knowledge
- applying this discretion adopting this policy
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay’s strongest feature is its clear agreement and two relevant lines of reasoning: international poverty reduction and mutual economic benefit. Its main limitation is precision, as countries and cities are repeatedly conflated and frequent awkward collocations and grammatical errors blur otherwise relevant ideas; the highest-priority improvement is to express each argument through a simple cause-and-effect chain using consistent national-level terms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported with relevant ideas and an organisational example, though some claims remain generalized or conceptually imprecise.
Explain more directly how permitting skilled migration benefits both the destination country and the workers’ home country, including one clearly traced outcome for each.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear paragraph-level progression and appropriate signposting, but some long sentences contain loosely connected ideas and the final rhetorical question weakens closure.
Give each body paragraph one explicit central claim and end with a direct concluding sentence rather than a rhetorical question.
Lexical Resource
There is enough range to discuss migration, poverty, and economic cooperation, but frequent collocational errors such as “impose that discretion” and “mutual advantages point of views” reduce precision.
Use natural phrases such as “adopt this policy,” “mutual benefits,” “meet skill requirements,” and “gain experience.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex forms are attempted throughout, but agreement, articles, plural forms, prepositions, and sentence construction errors recur while meaning remains mostly clear.
Shorten overloaded sentences and check structures such as “help them cope,” “organisations have,” and “services.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employees who are from poor countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.