Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
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Sample Response
Today, individuals believe that the consumption of junk foodthat consumption of junk food has resulted in several negative health issues. Given this growing problemWith this increase, many people believeopine that educating the public could resolve the issue easily, while others are of the opposite viewagainst this notion. The followingsubsequent essay will present both arguments regarding this situation and explain the reasoning behind each viewelaborate the respective meanings.
Educating people about healthier fat options and diets is a must in today’s time as these would involve learning about the pros and cons of fast food. This would make an individual become aware of the health problem that follows the consumption of this food such as being overweight. For example, with the fast-paced development of society, people are becoming busierthe population is getting busy and thus it has become more convenient to buy takeaway food. As a resultDue to this, people are being exposed to harmful fatsbeing affected in terms of harmful fats which causecauses many health problems.
However, education can help to mitigatehelp in effectively mitigating the problem. The fast food industry has to be reduced in the amount of produce it offers. Gradually, the consumption of junk food would be reduced as peoplethey become aware of the consequences. Besides, people can also participate in various outdoor activities which can rejuvenate them. As a result, they can focus not only on their physical health but also on their mental healthnot only focus on their physical health but also mental health. In addition to that, the government should also increase taxes on fast foodincrease the taxes on fast food which will compel individuals to cook more at home and eat more healthilycook more at home, eat healthier.
To conclude, the consumption of fast food worldwidefast foods in the global market is very high due to its easy accessibility and quick preparationtheir easy accessibility and quick preparation service. To curb this issue, one should be made aware of the advantages and disadvantages of such food items while the government imposes higher taxes on themalong with imposing high taxes on them by the government.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is organised into clear paragraphs and offers several relevant measures for reducing junk-food consumption. Its central limitation is task coverage: it promises both views but never explains why education might fail, and its own opinion emerges only indirectly. Add a distinct, developed paragraph for the opposing view, state a clear position in the introduction, and use more precise language to connect each example to that position.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response develops the case for education and other interventions but does not discuss the required view that education will not work.
Explain the opposing view in a separate paragraph and state a clear personal judgement that weighs both sides.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and basic progression are clear, but the third paragraph's contrasting link is misleading because it continues supporting education.
Give each paragraph one distinct argumentative purpose and use transitions that accurately represent the relationship between ideas.
Lexical Resource
The response shows an adequate range of topic vocabulary, though frequent awkward collocations and imprecise word choices weaken clarity.
Use more natural phrases for food consumption, health consequences, industry supply, and public behaviour.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex forms are mixed with generally clear meaning, but agreement, reference, and sentence-structure errors occur regularly.
Check subject-verb agreement, pronoun reference, and parallel verb structures, especially in longer cause-and-effect sentences.