Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary but not poor alternatives to a natural environment. Discuss some of the arguments for and against keeping animals in zoos.
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Sample Response
Zoos have been entertaining and educating peopleamusing and educating humans about animals for centuries. HoweverAlthough, keeping animalscontainment of animals in zoos is an increasingly controversial topic. Some argue that confining animals to their cages in zoos isare both necessary and healthy, while others disagreerefute this. Both perspectivesBoth sides of this debate will be analysed in this essay before a reasoned conclusion is drawn. On the one handOn one hand, many believe that keeping animals inside the artificialcontrived environment of a zoo is a means of saving many speciesa way to save many species from going extinct. For example, the Auckland Zoo has several breeding programsmany breeding programs in place to enable animals to mate and reproduce. These animals might not be able to find mating partners in the wild so their speciesand hence their species could be wiped out. This example makes it clear why many people support this stance. On the other handOn the contrary, many argue that the practice of keeping animals in a zoo is harmful to these animalsprimates. For instance, a recent survey found thatfound out that animals in the zoo in Karachi, Pakistan, were fed toxic substances by visitorsby the visitors which had an adverse effect on the health of many animals. As this example illustrates, animals in zoos can be abused if proper safety measures are not implementedemployed. Hence, it is obvious why this point of view has garnered support. After looking at both sides of this argument, it is felt that keeping animals in zoos offers more benefits than disadvantagesbegets greater benefits than disadvantages as long as there are precautionary measures in place to ensure the safety of these animals. It is hoped that zoos will continue to keep endangered species from going extinct.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response addresses both sides directly, supports each with a relevant example, and reaches a clear qualified conclusion in favour of well-regulated zoos. Its main limitation is mechanical organisation within a single paragraph, compounded by some imprecise word choices and recurring grammatical slips. The most valuable improvement is to build distinct body paragraphs that explain each argument more critically and use more accurate references to animals and captivity.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both perspectives are addressed with relevant support, and the conclusion presents a clear, qualified position.
Develop the opposing case beyond one safety incident by explaining broader effects of captivity on animal welfare.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence of ideas is easy to follow, but one-block presentation and formulaic linking limit cohesion.
Use separate introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs, and let topic sentences guide progression with fewer stock transitions.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a good range of topic vocabulary, although several choices are inaccurate or awkward in context.
Use precise terms such as “animals in captivity” and avoid applying “primates” to all zoo animals.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentence forms are attempted successfully, but fragments, agreement errors, and awkward clause construction remain noticeable.
Review dependent-clause punctuation and subject–verb agreement, especially in sentences beginning with “Although” or containing gerund subjects.