Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary but not poor alternatives to a natural environment. Discuss some of the arguments for and against keeping animals in zoos.
Sample Response
Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary, but not a poor alternative to a natural environment. Discuss some of the arguments for and against keeping animals in zoos. Nothing is more barbaric than destroying the peace of someone's livelihood, poaching them and destroying their natural habitats. Humans since ancient timesfrom a very ancient time have lived closelyhad close coordination with animals and other living creatures. Humans have usedThey have been using them as pets, in agriculturefor cultivation and as foodand moreover, as food in many wayssorts. Thus, keeping animals in zoos can be considered both negative and positive considering a various perspective of the situations. On the positive sideRegarding the positive sides, climate change, such as wildfireslike the wildfires and extreme coldintensive cold weather, is causing disastrous effects onin the lives of animals at an enormous rate. Millions of species are dead and many are in danger, and rescuing those endangered animalsthose species of endangered animals from such calamitous situations can be done with the help of an artificial ecosystem such as a zoolike the zoo. Moreover, zoos can be places for researchthe place for researches and considered to be an area where younger generationsour young generations could enjoy and learn about various rare species. On the contrary, considering the confinement and artificial conditions to which animals must adapt in a zooconfinement and artificial ecosystem that animals have to adjust within a zoo, zoos are often regarded by environmentalistsit is often discarded by the environmentalist as an unsafe place for animals and birds. Zoos are often merely placesZoos often are just the place where men could see the animals and enjoy while small iron cages are usedapplied to enclose the otherwise free animals and birds. Moreover, the authority often tries to profit from the animalscash out the animals and entertain the visitors which is cruel. Taking a look at the real purpose of the existence of zoo and various benefits that have been delivered to the animal kingdom, along with understanding the negative effects of zoos, it can be stated that zoos can sometimes be seen as required but, it is a rather bad alternative to a natural environment. Deletegmail.com ]
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents recognisable arguments on both sides and reaches a clear qualified conclusion, with the discussion of conservation, education, confinement, and commercial exploitation providing useful coverage. Its main limitation is frequent awkward or inaccurate wording, compounded by weak paragraphing and some copied task wording that does not advance the argument. Prioritise organising the two sides into clear paragraphs and developing each point in precise, natural language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Relevant arguments for conservation and education and against confinement and exploitation address both sides, although some ideas remain general or loosely explained.
Use the opening space to develop one concrete example or consequence for each side instead of repeating the task wording and broad background.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a discernible introduction–advantages–disadvantages–conclusion sequence, but the lack of paragraphing weakens organisation and some links are cumbersome.
Create separate paragraphs for the supporting and opposing arguments, each led by a clear topic sentence.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a good range of topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms make the language sound unnatural.
Choose simpler accurate phrases such as “conduct research,” “extreme cold,” and “profit from displaying animals” instead of forced alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are attempted and meaning is generally clear, but errors with articles, plurals, agreement, prepositions, and clause structure occur repeatedly.
Proofread noun phrases and subject–verb relationships, particularly where singular institutions, authorities, or species are discussed.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary but not poor alternatives to a natural environment. Discuss some of the arguments for and against keeping animals in zoos.
Your response
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