Should parents be obliged to immunise their children against childhood diseases? Or do individuals have the rights to choose not to immunise their children?
Sample Response
Every infant needs protectionan aid of protection from any danger at antheir early age. One of the most predominant perils is absolutely illnesses. Any disorder can be able to face them with the risk of death, even a single flu because children are vulnerable and a potential target for viruses and other threatening creatures. Their immuneimmunity system hasis just started to grow and improve. If they are not fed well and protected from hazardous effects, the immunehazardous effects the immune system cannot thrive and the body will soon deterioratethe body will destroy soon.
That's why they are dependent on their protectorsin need of their protectors at certain ages of weakness. It is evident that these protectors are their parents or responsible relatives. Hands of kind-hearted and generous parents are especially given for that reason. From birthFrom the birth to adulthoodthe age of being an individual, parents look after their children with great patience and attention.
They devote their whole liveslife to paying attentionto pay attentions to their protection like precious jewellery. This dedication includes health, happiness, culture and other aspects of their personal developmentother qualities of their own personality. Above allIn front of those all their children's healthhealth of their children is the most crucial oneis most crucial one. Kind-hearted parents always want their children to be healthy; therefore, theyhealthy, because of that they immunise them very well. In their opinion, it is their obligation to do that. Unfortunately, some parents think differentlyare in the other mind. They refuse to inoculate their children. It must be a scandal, because if parents decline to vaccinate them, then who should take responsibilitydo the issue.
I think it is obviously the obligation of parents to raise and immunisegrow up and immunise their children. Another variant could not be perceptible. And the government should impose a law for this type of parents to either immunise their own children or pay the expense of looking after them.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response communicates a firm view that parents should be required to vaccinate their children and links this duty to parental protection. Its main limitation is that much of the discussion concerns general childcare rather than immunisation, while the competing rights argument is dismissed without analysis and frequent language errors obscure meaning; the priority is to explain the public-health consequences of refusal and address parental choice directly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The writer’s position is clear, but relevant development is limited because general parental care dominates and the case for individual choice is barely considered.
Explain how non-immunisation affects the child and wider community, then respond directly to a parent’s claimed right to refuse.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a basic progression from child vulnerability to parental responsibility and legislation, but ideas are repetitive and paragraph focus is weak.
Organise the argument into distinct paragraphs on health risk, parental choice, community consequences, and the final policy judgement.
Lexical Resource
Some relevant health vocabulary is attempted, but frequent inappropriate word choices and collocations make several statements difficult to understand.
Use precise terms such as childhood disease, developing immune system, vaccination, public-health risk, parental responsibility, and legal requirement.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in verb forms, articles, agreement, sentence structure, and punctuation regularly reduce clarity.
Write shorter subject-verb-object sentences and check each verb tense and passive form before combining ideas.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Should parents be obliged to immunise their children against childhood diseases? Or do individuals have the rights to choose not to immunise their children?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.