Should parents be obliged to immunise their children against childhood diseases? Or do individuals have the rights to choose not to immunise their children?
Sample Response
In spite of the fact that parents can make decisionsmake their decisions about whether to immunisein terms of immunising or not immunising their children againstfrom deadly diseases, they have to take responsibilityfeel a responsibility to their children. From my point of view, it must not be optional and all children have to be vaccinated.
We all know that children who are under six or seven years oldless than 6 or 7 age are vulnerable to diseases and could suffer fatal consequencesshould have fatal results or big problems in their future livesforthcoming future life if they are not protected from seriousheinous diseases. Though these childhood illnesses might seem very simple, parents must pay attention to their children at this agewho are at these ages. MoreoverBy the way, it must not be voluntary for parents to decide what they must do. It is also the future of the country's futurethe country and the nation in terms of having a strong nation. Namely, children comprise the basis of education in the country, so children have a vital rolea bulk and vital role in the country in terms of education and future. For this reason, governments have to take specific actionmake something special for that, such as legislationlegislations. These sorts of regulations will make parents feel responsible for their children.
Children, who suffer from deadly diseases and experience lasting effectsget affected by that in future, actually start hating their parents. Think about how sad it would be when a child suffers from physical disability only because his parents decided not to vaccinate him in his childhood? That is something we never want to happen to our nation. Actually, there are also some families who want to immunise their children but haven't got enough money to pay for itsufficient budget to spend for that. In that way, governments have to arrange vaccination for these childrenundertake immunising such children and provide subsidies for those childrenassign subsidies for those of children. People haven't got the rights not to vaccinate their children. This is not an option, this is a must. Because it is inhumane for both children and parents who might become the victim of deadly diseases.
To sum up, parents must be responsible for their children and they mustn't choose to immunise or not immunise, that should be a must for parents.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response takes a clear, consistent position and offers several relevant reasons, including children's welfare, national interests, and government support for families who cannot afford vaccination. Its main limitation is that several points are repetitive or asserted rather than convincingly explained, while frequent awkward word choices and grammatical errors reduce precision. Prioritise developing two well-supported arguments with accurate collocations and cleaner sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported with relevant reasons, though some claims remain repetitive, generalised, or insufficiently explained.
Develop fewer main ideas more fully by explaining the causal link between compulsory vaccination and each claimed benefit.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a recognisable progression with appropriate paragraphing, but connections within and between ideas are sometimes mechanical or repetitive.
Give each body paragraph one central argument and use referencing and logical sequencing instead of repeatedly restating the position.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary shows some range, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices such as descriptions of diseases, consequences, and subsidies weaken precision.
Use familiar topic-specific collocations accurately and check that each chosen word conveys the intended meaning naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument, although recurring errors in articles, prepositions, agreement, and clause construction reduce control.
Revise sentence boundaries and noun phrases, paying particular attention to articles, prepositions, and grammatically complete clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Should parents be obliged to immunise their children against childhood diseases? Or do individuals have the rights to choose not to immunise their children?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.