Nowadays more people get married to someone of a different culture than they ever did. Why is this happening? Discuss both benefits and demerits of this trend.
Sample Response
Traditionally people get married to someone of the same culture, religion and country. But marrying someone from a different culture has become common and socially accepted these days. Technological advancements, changes in social belief, and freedom for choosing a life partner among the young have accelerated this trend, and cross-cultural marriages have both merits and issues that this essay will deal with.
To begin with, people, these days, use technology to make friends across the border. An increasing number of people also study abroad and live in a cross-cultural environment. This has broken their outdated social belief to a great extent, and they have a broader perspective on life and marriage. Moreover, young people have greater freedom in choosing their life partners unlike in the past when parents primarily picked a life partner for someone. Modern society also seems to have accepted this freedom and welcomes marriage beyond the known boundary.
Cross-cultural marriage has several benefits. People have different inherent features and strengths based on their culture, race, geographic location and family, and it is often noticed that children of such cross-cultural couples are stronger and have diverse capabilities. Two people from totally different cultures, when get married, take time to understand each other, and this often strengthens their conjugal relationship. Such marriage often teaches people to become more tolerant of other races, cultures and customs.
This type of marriage has some disadvantages too. Family, friends and relatives often have misconceptions of such couples and keep their distance. Mixed marriages often force people to accept an alien way of life that they cannot completely cope with. Moreover, children in such families often find it hard to adhere to a particular culture and end up adopting a pseudo-cultural identity.
To conclude, mixed-cultural marriages are nowadays more common in our society than in the past. Social changes, technology and people’s freedom to choose a life partner have greatly made it possible. Despite some problems, this type of marriage is working well to be considered a mainstream trend.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove interrupting commas Original: people, these days, Suggested revision: people these days Why it matters: The commas unnecessarily separate the subject from its time expression.
- 2. Use natural plural Original: across the border Suggested revision: across borders Why it matters: The plural form expresses international online contact more naturally.
- 3. Improve collocation Original: broken their outdated social belief Suggested revision: challenged their outdated social beliefs Why it matters: Beliefs are normally challenged rather than broken, and the plural suits a set of attitudes.
- 4. Clarify the boundary Original: welcomes marriage beyond the known boundary Suggested revision: welcomes marriage beyond familiar cultural boundaries Why it matters: This wording specifies the kind of boundary being discussed.
- 5. Complete the parallel phrase Original: geographic location and family Suggested revision: geographical location and family background Why it matters: Family background is the natural parallel noun phrase in this list.
- 6. Add the subject Original: when get married Suggested revision: when they get married Why it matters: The subordinate clause needs an explicit subject.
- 7. Use plural reference Original: marriage Suggested revision: marriages Why it matters: The plural form naturally refers to cross-cultural marriages in general.
- 8. Correct the preposition Original: of Suggested revision: about Why it matters: The noun misconception takes about when naming its subject.
- 9. Use precise wording Original: cannot completely cope with Suggested revision: cannot fully adapt to Why it matters: Adapt to more precisely describes adjusting to a different way of life.
- 10. Avoid unclear wording Original: pseudo-cultural identity Suggested revision: uncertain cultural identity Why it matters: Pseudo-cultural is imprecise and does not clearly express uncertainty about cultural belonging.
- 11. Clarify the reference Original: have greatly made it possible Suggested revision: have made this increasingly possible Why it matters: This provides a clear object for made possible and places the adverb naturally.
- 12. Correct the verb pattern Original: freedom for choosing Suggested revision: freedom to choose Why it matters: Freedom is followed naturally by a to-infinitive when describing an available choice.
Suggested Rewrites
- people, these days, people these days
- across the border across borders
- broken their outdated social belief challenged their outdated social beliefs
- welcomes marriage beyond the known boundary welcomes marriage beyond familiar cultural boundaries
- geographic location and family geographical location and family background
- when get married when they get married
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its comprehensive coverage: it explains the trend and gives distinct, logically organised benefits and drawbacks. Its main limitation is that several claims, particularly those about children's strength and cultural identity, are broad or insufficiently substantiated, while some phrasing is awkward. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each major claim with a more precise explanation or credible example and refine collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
All parts of the task are addressed with a clear position and relevant ideas, though some supporting claims remain general or questionable.
Substantiate the main benefit and drawback with precise causal explanation or a credible example instead of broad assertions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through causes, benefits, drawbacks, and a conclusion, with clear paragraphing and generally natural linking.
Strengthen the connections within body paragraphs so each supporting sentence more explicitly develops the preceding claim.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and topic-appropriate, but several combinations such as social belief and known boundary are imprecise or unnatural.
Use more idiomatic collocations and replace vague or loaded expressions with precise neutral wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used with generally strong control, although occasional article, agreement, and clause-formation errors remain.
Proofread complex sentences for complete clause structure and accurate articles, especially around interrupted relative or time clauses.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays more people get married to someone of a different culture than they ever did. Why is this happening? Discuss both benefits and demerits of this trend.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.