Anybody can use a mobile phone to answer the work and personal calls at any time or 7 days a week. Does this development have more positive or negative effects on both individuals and society?
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Sample Response
Nowadays, mobile phones can be used to receive business or personal calls at any timecalls anytime. From my perspective, I strongly believe that the advantages and disadvantagespositives and negatives of this trend are equal.
On the one hand, being able to take phone calls at any time is extremely beneficial. Mobile phones allow people to handle urgent situations anytime and anywhere, and this benefits not only individuals but also large corporationsnot only the individuals but large corporations as well. For businessesIn terms of businesses, mobile phones help businesses remain availablehelp them to be available to customers round the clock via hotlines. As a result, customer service will be improved and with that comes increased profits. Regarding individuals, mobile phones allow quick and easy communication with their families and friends, regardless of geographical locationdespite the geographical location. Moreover, even duringon holidays, emergencies at work can be dealt with swiftly using mobile phones. This is especially advantageous in industrieslines of business that require frequent and prompt problem solving such as the entertainment industrysuch as show business.
On the other hand, there are undeniable issues with the ability to use mobile phones at all times. First, mobile phones are majorgreat distractions which can interfere with life outside worklives outside of work. If a person is regularly disturbed by work messages or phone calls, they can never truly enjoy their time off with their friends and family. Moreover, having to respondanswer to problems at work at any timeat work any time will disrupt a person's work-life balancethrow a person off their work-life balance as they are always ready to engage in work. In the long term, stress and decliningdeclined mental health can be expectedare to be expected.
In conclusion, the advantages of being able to communicate via mobile phones anytime do not eclipse theirits disadvantages and vice versa. Instead, what people should do is to use their time and phones wisely in order to achieve a work-life balance.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear, balanced position and supports both sides with relevant workplace and personal examples in a logically organised structure. Its main limitation is that the effects on society are represented mainly through business benefits, while the negative discussion focuses almost entirely on individuals. The highest priority is to develop a distinct societal consequence on each side and relate those consequences directly to the final comparison.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses positive and negative effects with a clear equal-balance position, but coverage of society is narrower and less developed than coverage of individuals.
Develop specific positive and negative consequences for society and use them to justify the comparative conclusion more fully.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a consistent conclusion, with generally effective cohesive links.
Strengthen progression within each body paragraph by making the relationship between examples and the individual-versus-society distinction more explicit.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally appropriate, with effective phrases such as round the clock and work-life balance, although several collocations are imprecise.
Replace awkward combinations such as answer to problems and declined mental health with more natural, precise collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of simple and complex structures is used with generally accurate control, and the few errors do not impede meaning.
Refine preposition, article, and noun-phrase choices in longer sentences to make the expression consistently natural and precise.