Anybody can use a mobile phone to answer the work and personal calls at any time or 7 days a week. Does this development have more positive or negative effects on both individuals and society?

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Sample Response

1

Rising ownership of mobile phones facilitates interaction for work and personal purposes regardless of time constraintsconstraint. This development in communication offers several benefitsrevolution in communications exerts several benefits on both individuals and society, but I believe that these merits are overshadowed by its demerits.

2

To begin withAs argued, the possibility of answering work-related or personal calls at any time is of immense benefit. Firstly, this practice strengthens people-to-people bonds as it is more convenient and fasterspeedier to stay in touch irrespective of geographical barriers. For instance, international students can call their parents back homegive their parents back home a call to ask how they areask after their health, which can somewhat relieve feelings of loneliness or homesicknesswhich means the feeling of loneliness or homesickness is somewhat relieved, keeping them emotionally attached. Secondly, society can benefit from the diminished demand for public or private transport as well as from increased work productivitybesides the work productivity achieved. Staff, for example, can communicate with their line manager or clients without frequent face-to-face meetings as everything can be accomplished with a brief telephone conversation. The roads then could be less congested and the traffic flow will be smooth.

3

I am of the opinion that the detrimental effects of the constant availability of mobile phonesavailability of mobile phone all the time outweighoverweigh its positive ones. The first repercussion is its undesirable ability to manipulate owners and deprive them of personal freedom and privacy. At night, their co-workers may contact themcan happen to contact them for work-related discussions, hence, they are inevitably swept into the maelstrom of work. This development also contributes tois also attributed to the loss of a sense of community. Rather than communicating face-to-face with peers at school or colleagues in the same office, they focus their attention on their phonesrivet their ears onto their phones and isolate themselves from real lifethe real life. For example, sitting together in a coffee shop, two friends may fail to talk to each other because they are bothall preoccupied with answering their own calls. The final consequence is that mobile phone usage can also result in the deterioration of our health. Cell phones have electromagnetic waves, which adversely affectaffects our organs, resulting in serious health risksfatal risks such as brain disordersdeficiency or reduced male reproductive healthdecreased men’s reproductive health.

4

In conclusion, albeit advantageous to some extent, that people can make and receive calls every time makes them isolated and unhealthy. I strongly believe that those negative effects are more acute than the positive ones.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response’s strongest feature is its clear position and substantial discussion of effects on both individuals and society, supported by relevant examples and a logical overall structure. Its main limitation is that several claims, especially the health argument, are insufficiently credible or precisely explained, while recurring awkward collocations reduce authority; prioritise developing fewer, better-supported consequences in more natural, exact language.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

7.0
Scoring rule

A clear position is maintained and both sides are developed with examples, although some consequences are speculative or insufficiently substantiated.

Next step

Replace the questionable health claim with a credible, fully explained consequence tied directly to individuals or society.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

The response progresses logically through benefits and drawbacks, though the long drawbacks paragraph becomes crowded with several separate ideas.

Next step

Give each major drawback focused development and use transitions that clarify the relationship between ideas rather than merely introducing them.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

A broad and ambitious vocabulary conveys precise distinctions at times, but several unnatural collocations and word choices reduce fluency.

Next step

Prefer natural combinations such as constant availability and outweigh the benefits, and check ambitious expressions for accurate usage.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0
Scoring rule

Varied complex structures are generally well controlled and meaning remains clear despite occasional agreement, article, and singular-plural errors.

Next step

Proofread noun phrases and subject-verb agreement, especially where plural subjects are separated from their verbs by longer clauses.