Some people say that having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is often claimed by many individuals that having greater wealth with limited free time is preferable to having less income but more leisure time. I disagree with this notion as I believe that having more free time is essential for overall well-being and happiness, regardless of financial status.
Firstly, prioritising money over free time can lead to detrimental effects on physical and mental health. People with highly demanding jobs often experience high levels of stress, anxiety, and burnout due to long working hours and limited relaxation time. For instance, a study conducted by the World Health Organization found that individuals who work excessively long hours are at a higher risk of developing chronic health conditions such as hypertension, heart disease, and depression. Thus, while they may have greater financial resources, their overall quality of life is compromised.
Secondly, having more free time allows individuals to pursue personal interests, hobbies, and relationships, which are vital for personal growth and fulfilment. For example, someone with ample leisure time can engage in activities such as exercise, artistic pursuits, or spending quality time with family and friends. These activities not only provide enjoyment but also contribute to a sense of purpose and well-roundedness in life.
In conclusion, while having more money may offer financial security, it should not come at the expense of sacrificing free time. The importance of leisure time for physical and mental health, as well as personal fulfilment, cannot be understated. Therefore, I firmly believe that prioritising free time over wealth leads to a more balanced and fulfilling life.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise reporting Original: claimed by many individuals Suggested revision: argued Why it matters: “It is often argued” expresses the reported view more concisely.
- 2. Sharpen the contrast Original: greater wealth with limited free time Suggested revision: more money but less free time Why it matters: The contrast marker makes the trade-off between the two conditions explicit.
- 3. Strengthen parallel wording Original: less income but more leisure time Suggested revision: less money but more free time Why it matters: Matching the terms used in the first half makes the comparison easier to follow.
- 4. Use direct reasoning link Original: this notion as I believe that Suggested revision: this view because Why it matters: “Because” connects the disagreement to its reason more directly and avoids a wordy frame.
- 5. Use concise collocation Original: lead to detrimental effects on Suggested revision: have detrimental effects on Why it matters: The revision removes the redundant combination of “lead to” and “effects.”
- 6. Make list parallel Original: exercise, artistic pursuits, or spending quality time Suggested revision: exercising, pursuing artistic interests, or spending quality time Why it matters: Using three coordinated gerund phrases creates consistent grammatical structure.
- 7. Use natural expression Original: well-roundedness in life Suggested revision: a well-rounded life Why it matters: The revised phrase is a more natural way to describe balance across areas of life.
- 8. Remove redundancy Original: at the expense of sacrificing free time Suggested revision: at the expense of free time Why it matters: “At the expense of” already conveys the idea of sacrifice.
- 9. Correct intended expression Original: understated Suggested revision: overstated Why it matters: “Cannot be overstated” means the importance is extremely great, which matches the intended claim.
- 10. Compare equivalent concepts Original: prioritising free time over wealth Suggested revision: prioritising leisure over income Why it matters: “Leisure” and “income” form a more precise comparison between time and money.
Suggested Rewrites
- claimed by many individuals argued
- greater wealth with limited free time more money but less free time
- less income but more leisure time less money but more free time
- this notion as I believe that this view because
- lead to detrimental effects on have detrimental effects on
- exercise, artistic pursuits, or spending quality time exercising, pursuing artistic interests, or spending quality time
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay presents a consistent position, develops two relevant reasons with appropriate support, and progresses smoothly through clearly focused paragraphs. Its main limitation is that some support remains fairly general and the argument could acknowledge the financial-security side more precisely. The highest-priority refinement is to deepen the comparison by explaining why the benefits of free time outweigh the strongest practical advantage of higher income.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the question with a clear position and two relevant, well-developed supporting arguments.
Deepen the evaluation by explicitly weighing the strongest benefit of greater income against the advantages of free time.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader effectively.
Make transitions slightly less formulaic by linking each paragraph more explicitly to the central comparison.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary range conveys the argument naturally with strong topic-specific collocations.
Add slightly more nuanced language for weighing practical trade-offs while preserving the current precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately and flexibly, with errors rare and non-impeding.
Maintain this control while incorporating more varied comparative and concessive structures to sharpen evaluation.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.