The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.
Sample Response
Choosing a career and earning a living from itmaking a living out of it is an important decision in a person’s life. There is an increasing trend towardsof creating different ways to generate income to afford a balanced lifestyle. This essay analyses the financial and health benefits of having several streams of income. Money can buy all the material items in life that create happiness. For example, a person can choose to buy a luxury car, afford an international annual family vacation and a lavish lifestyle, provided he has the abundant financial support. Having different ways of earning money can help individualswill help the individuals to attain the financial freedom requiredattain required financial freedom to support a balanced lifestyleafford a balanced living. On the other hand, if a person has a single source of income,if a person has a single source of income then it becomes difficult for themdifficult for a person to meet monthly financial commitmentsmanage the monthly commitments. Health is an important wealth any individual should accumulate in his life creating a happy living. Creating thea right balance of intellectual and physical activity can support physical healthcan create a healthy body. In the pastIn olden days, an individual chose a single career path and worked to master their skillsstruggled to master the talent. By contrast, today,Whereas, in current days, people have opportunitiespeople create choices to find a career path that maximises their potentialmaximises their talent potential. Continual improvement of an individual's skillsConstant improvement in individual’s talent creates new avenues to generate income. Thus, exploring several career options can benefit people's well-beingwill create healthy individuals. After analyzation of the financial and health benefits of the people who choose to have multiple career choices and several income streams, it is evident that this new trend should continue through the life to create a challenging yet happy living.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response takes a clear favourable view of multiple careers and income streams and offers some explanation of their financial benefits. However, it omits the prompt's central point about lifelong further education, presents an unconvincing link between multiple careers and health, and uses no paragraphing. The highest priority is to address continuous education directly and build a logically supported argument around it.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The financial case for multiple income streams is partly developed, but lifelong education is not addressed and the claimed health benefit is weakly supported.
Discuss why workers may need continuing education to change careers, and support that point with a concrete example of reskilling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas move from financial benefits to health and talent, but the single long paragraph and weak logical links make progression uneven.
Use an introduction, separate body paragraphs for income diversification and lifelong learning, and a concise conclusion.
Lexical Resource
There is some range in career and finance vocabulary, but frequent awkward collocations and word formation errors reduce clarity.
Replace expressions such as 'abundant financial support', 'health is an important wealth', and 'analyzation' with natural academic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex sentences, though article, agreement, punctuation, and sentence-fragment errors recur.
Join dependent clauses correctly, revise the fragment beginning 'Whereas', and check articles before singular countable nouns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.