The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.
Sample Response
It is believed that focusing on a single career is out of date these days. The new trend is that people should have several kinds of occupations in their life, and they should never stop learning. The following essay will explain in details about why people should have several careers in their life and why they should continue their education till the end.
It is a fact that in the old days, most of the people were loyal to their company, focused on their occupations and stayed there until they retired. However, some people believed that the act is old fashioned and people should have various kind of experiences in their life. Having a different kind of working experiences is a precious asset since people could bring innovative ideas from their previous company and implement it in their current workplace. Besides that, to become a general leader, people should have had experiences in different types of working functions. For example, a Managing Director manages the company in overall, and it would be best if he had experienced in the field of Finance, Production, Human Resources and Sales.
Furthermore, it is undeniable that continuous education is an essential thing these days. People need to update with the current information of the economy, information technology and science as they change and develop rapidly. Those who are not following the latest information and regulations will face difficulties in their careers. For instance, people who work in the Information technology sector should update themselves with the latest type of antivirus software, since many new viruses which are threatening the networks these days. Those who fail to update their software will face serious problems in their database.
In conclusion, I personally believe that having different types of works in life is a positive thing and bring a lot of benefits to the person's career, and it is important for people to study or learn throughout their life as the world never stop to develop.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct verb pattern Original: explain in details about Suggested revision: explain in detail Why it matters: 'Explain' does not take 'about' here, and 'in detail' is singular.
- 2. Clarify the timeframe Original: till the end Suggested revision: throughout their lives Why it matters: This wording states the intended lifelong duration more precisely.
- 3. Remove unnecessary article Original: most of the people Suggested revision: most people Why it matters: Use 'most people' when referring to people generally.
- 4. Match plural forms Original: various kind of experiences Suggested revision: various kinds of experience Why it matters: 'Various' requires a plural count noun, while 'experience' is uncountable in this sense.
- 5. Use present modal Original: could Suggested revision: can Why it matters: The paragraph makes a present general claim, so 'can' is appropriate.
- 6. Use plural noun Original: company Suggested revision: companies Why it matters: The plural subject refers generally to different employers.
- 7. Match the pronoun Original: it Suggested revision: them Why it matters: The pronoun must agree with the plural antecedent 'ideas'.
- 8. Use formal transition Original: Besides that Suggested revision: Moreover Why it matters: A concise additive transition fits the formal argument more naturally.
- 9. Choose precise wording Original: general Suggested revision: versatile Why it matters: 'Versatile' conveys the intended ability to work across several functions.
- 10. Correct verb phrase Original: should have had experiences Suggested revision: should have experience Why it matters: The claim describes a present qualification, and 'experience' is uncountable here.
- 11. Use natural collocation Original: working Suggested revision: business Why it matters: 'Business functions' is the standard term for areas such as finance and sales.
- 12. Correct fixed phrase Original: in overall Suggested revision: as a whole Why it matters: 'As a whole' is the idiomatic phrase for managing the entire company.
Suggested Rewrites
- explain in details about explain in detail
- till the end throughout their lives
- most of the people most people
- various kind of experiences various kinds of experience
- could can
- company companies
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response addresses both changing career patterns and lifelong education through a clear position, relevant explanations, and suitable workplace and technology examples. Its strongest feature is the logical two-part development, while frequent collocation, agreement, and word-form errors reduce precision and polish. Prioritise accurate, natural phrasing and grammatical control when explaining and extending otherwise relevant ideas in greater depth.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response clearly supports multiple careers and lifelong learning, developing both claims with relevant reasons and examples, although some ideas remain general.
Explain more precisely how varied experience improves career resilience and how continuous education enables people to adapt to change.
Coherence and Cohesion
A clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a consistent conclusion create logical progression, though some linking expressions are mechanical.
Use topic sentences that state each paragraph's claim directly and reduce formulaic transitions such as 'It is a fact' and 'Furthermore.'
Lexical Resource
There is adequate topic vocabulary, but frequent collocation and word-form problems such as 'different types of works' and 'update with information' limit precision.
Use natural combinations such as 'different kinds of work,' 'gain experience,' and 'keep up to date with developments.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses both simple and complex sentences, but agreement, article, plural, and tense errors occur throughout.
Prioritise subject-verb agreement and noun forms, especially after plural subjects and in sentences describing careers and technological change.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.