Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment but population and education as well. What problems, in your opinion, will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome?
Sample Response
The COVID-19 pandemic has shattered the world to its core, and ongoing wars in different regions have brought us to the verge of a large-scale war more devastating than at any time in human history. Thus the world is facing numerous challenges on top of its regular problems like global warming, overpopulation and poverty. My country, I believe, will face economic challenges and the possibility to get involved in a war in the next ten years.
The global economy has been hit hard by the ongoing pandemic, restrictions, wars, and recessions. My country, in particular, relies on imports more heavily than its exports. As a result, the foreign currency reserve may shrink in the future, making it more difficult to import necessary fuels and goods from other countries. It will surely have negative consequences on our economy. Moreover, our job market is likely to become more unstable due to the challenges faced by businesses. Besides, the world is watching appalling and devastating wars, and many countries, including ours, have a possibility to get involved in a war in the next few years. If this happens, the fate of our country is bleak.
To address the upcoming economic problems of our country, the authority has to take diverse initiatives to strengthen our export industries. They can offer incentives to export-oriented companies, for example, to achieve that. They should also take measures to increase our foreign reserves so that we do not get trapped in a situation where we will fail to import necessary foods and medicines for the lack of foreign currency. One way to achieve that is to restrict the amount someone from our country can spend on a foreign tour from now on. To avoid wars and regional conflicts, our leaders have to take part in friendly discussions with their counterparts instead of their hot rhetorics. We must understand that it is not a time to get involved in a war when millions of people are suffering from the ongoing pandemic and recession.
In conclusion, our country has to act prudently to avoid economic crises and wars by all means as these two are the greatest threat ahead of us.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add introductory comma Original: Thus the world Suggested revision: Thus, the world Why it matters: An introductory conjunctive adverb should be followed by a comma.
- 2. Use formal addition phrase Original: on top of its regular problems like Suggested revision: in addition to persistent problems such as Why it matters: The replacement is more precise and formal for introducing examples.
- 3. Use noun preposition Original: the possibility to get involved Suggested revision: the possibility of becoming involved Why it matters: Possibility takes of followed by a gerund.
- 4. Keep comparison parallel Original: relies on imports more heavily than its exports Suggested revision: relies more heavily on imports than on exports Why it matters: The comparison requires parallel prepositional phrases.
- 5. Use plural reserves Original: reserve Suggested revision: reserves Why it matters: A country's holdings are conventionally described as foreign currency reserves.
- 6. Use uncountable fuel Original: necessary fuels Suggested revision: essential fuel Why it matters: Fuel is normally uncountable when referring generally to imported energy supplies.
- 7. Use correct preposition Original: on Suggested revision: for Why it matters: Consequences takes for when identifying who or what is affected.
- 8. Use formal transition Original: Besides Suggested revision: Furthermore Why it matters: Furthermore links this additional national risk more formally.
- 9. Use witness verb Original: watching Suggested revision: witnessing Why it matters: Witnessing is the natural verb for observing major events unfold.
- 10. Remove redundant adjective Original: appalling and devastating wars Suggested revision: devastating wars Why it matters: Both adjectives express severe harm, so one is sufficient.
- 11. Use concise modal Original: have a possibility to get involved Suggested revision: may become involved Why it matters: The modal phrase expresses the future possibility naturally.
- 12. Match conditional result Original: fate of our country is bleak Suggested revision: fate of our country would be bleak Why it matters: Would matches the preceding conditional If this happens.
Suggested Rewrites
- Thus the world Thus, the world
- on top of its regular problems like in addition to persistent problems such as
- the possibility to get involved the possibility of becoming involved
- relies on imports more heavily than its exports relies more heavily on imports than on exports
- reserve reserves
- necessary fuels essential fuel
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay answers both questions directly, with the economic risks and proposed export and reserve measures forming a particularly well-developed chain of ideas. The war-related discussion is less specific, and some overdramatic or awkward phrasing reduces precision despite a strong vocabulary range. The highest-priority improvement is to give a more concrete explanation of how diplomatic measures would reduce the identified risk and to edit recurring collocation errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Two future problems and corresponding solutions are clearly identified, although the war risk and diplomatic response are less fully substantiated than the economic discussion.
Explain a credible route by which the country could enter a conflict and show specifically how the proposed diplomacy would prevent it.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure creates clear progression from the forecast problems to solutions and a concise conclusion.
Tighten the broad opening context and make the transition from economic measures to conflict prevention more explicit.
Lexical Resource
A broad, topic-appropriate vocabulary is used flexibly, though several collocations and some dramatic expressions are imprecise.
Prefer natural phrases such as 'the possibility of becoming involved', 'negative consequences for', and 'heated rhetoric'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are frequent and generally well controlled, but errors in comparison, agreement, reference, and noun forms remain noticeable.
Check parallel comparisons, singular-plural agreement, and references such as 'the authority ... they' during proofreading.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment but population and education as well. What problems, in your opinion, will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.