It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g., dinosaurs, dodos, etc.). There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is argued that animal species that are getting extinct are naturally with them. I completely disagree that there are no reasons behind the extinction of rare species, and I must say people ought to do to neutralize this extinction. This articulation will elucidate my standpoint in the upcoming paragraphs.
First off all, death is inevitable, so it comes to all. But the extinction of rare species is more than a natural process owing to inhuman activities on land and on the sea. Firstly, human beings have started doing deforestation, which has made many animals homeless. It also has a great impact on their migration. For instance, a large part of the Amazon forest has been cut down, and it destroyed the habitat of some species. Now a few which are left are on the verge of extinction. Besides, a number of vehicles that run on the road release poisonous gases that, when mixing in the air, cause pollution. So it has again made it difficult for the species to survive in such kinds of environments.
To continue, for above -mentioned reasons, it is better to do something on the part of humanity. So it is pertinent to halt this extinction, and humankind must use eco-friendly products that are helpful in maintaining balance in nature. They must use fewer vehicles, and if it is possible to low carbon emission, vehicles are an ideal option. Alternative modes are also available like electric cars, bicycles, and, to name but a few. So the aforementioned reasons, it is ostensible for people to put great efforts into saving endangered species.
To conclude, logging, pollution are a few reasons out of many, which must make people realize to save species that are at risk in order to lead a life which will be free from disease or infections. It is because animal species help a lot in maintaining biodiversity, and only then is human survival possible.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use appropriate noun Original: articulation Suggested revision: essay Why it matters: Articulation does not naturally refer to the written response itself in this context.
- 2. Correct fixed phrase Original: off Suggested revision: of Why it matters: First of all is the standard introductory phrase.
- 3. Clarify reference Original: it comes to all Suggested revision: it affects all living things Why it matters: The revised phrase supplies a clear and grammatically complete description of death's universality.
- 4. Express contrast clearly Original: more than a natural process Suggested revision: not merely a natural process Why it matters: Not merely accurately signals that human activity also contributes to extinction.
- 5. Use intended adjective Original: inhuman Suggested revision: human Why it matters: Inhuman means cruel, whereas the argument refers generally to activities performed by humans.
- 6. Use natural collocation Original: started doing deforestation Suggested revision: begun clearing forests Why it matters: People clear forests; doing deforestation is not a natural English collocation.
- 7. Align tense and structure Original: has been cut down, and it destroyed Suggested revision: has been cut down, destroying Why it matters: The participial form correctly connects habitat destruction to the preceding present-perfect event.
- 8. Clarify noun phrase Original: a few which are left Suggested revision: the few that remain Why it matters: The definite phrase clearly refers to the surviving members of the species.
- 9. Add clear subject Original: when mixing in the air Suggested revision: when they mix with the air Why it matters: The clause needs a subject referring to the gases and the preposition with.
- 10. Be more precise Original: such kinds of environments Suggested revision: such polluted environments Why it matters: Polluted identifies the specific environmental condition already described.
- 11. Correct reference phrase Original: for above -mentioned reasons Suggested revision: for the reasons mentioned above Why it matters: This is the grammatical form for referring back to the preceding reasons.
- 12. Use direct agent Original: on the part of humanity Suggested revision: by humanity Why it matters: The shorter prepositional phrase clearly identifies who should act.
Suggested Rewrites
- articulation essay
- off of
- it comes to all it affects all living things
- more than a natural process not merely a natural process
- inhuman human
- started doing deforestation begun clearing forests
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay states a consistent disagreement and develops a relevant case that human activity contributes to extinction and therefore creates a responsibility to protect endangered species. Organisation is generally clear, but language errors and awkward phrasing repeatedly weaken otherwise sensible explanations, while some proposed solutions remain broad. The main priority is to express each causal link and remedy in accurate, natural sentences and explain how it directly protects species.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is addressed with a clear position, relevant causes, and proposed responses, though some claims and solutions need fuller, more precise development.
Explain one or two specific conservation measures in detail and show exactly how each would reduce the risk of extinction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically across clear paragraphs, but connective expressions are sometimes mechanical, repetitive, or grammatically incomplete.
Use fewer formulaic transitions and make the logical relationship between consecutive sentences clear through content and accurate referencing.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, with some effective terms, but collocation and word-choice errors occur regularly.
Replace unnatural phrases with precise combinations such as prevent extinction, reduce carbon emissions, and protect natural habitats.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex structures are used, but frequent errors in sentence construction, articles, prepositions, and verb forms remain noticeable.
Edit each complex sentence for a complete clause structure and accurate verb pattern, especially after modal verbs and conditional phrases.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g., dinosaurs, dodos, etc.). There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.