Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Will the benefits of this outweigh the problems associated with it?
Sample Response
The idea of creating a new language for international communication has been proposed as a solution to overcome language barriers and facilitate global understanding. This essay will discuss the potential benefits and demerits of inventing a new global language and argue that the advantages of such a language would outweigh the problems associated with its implementation.
There are some challenges and drawbacks associated with inventing a new language for international communication. One major concern is the preservation of cultural diversity and the potential loss of linguistic heritage. Language is deeply intertwined with culture, history, and identity. Introducing a new language may lead to the erosion of traditional languages and cultural practices, as people shift their focus to the new universal language. This could result in the loss of valuable cultural diversity and the richness of linguistic traditions that have evolved over centuries.
Despite the drawbacks, there are substantial advantages associated with it. One significant advantage of a new language for international communication is improved global understanding and cooperation. Currently, language barriers hinder effective communication between individuals from different linguistic backgrounds, leading to misunderstandings and limited exchange of ideas. With a new language specifically designed for international communication, people from diverse cultures and countries would be able to engage in direct and meaningful conversations. This would promote mutual understanding, foster cultural appreciation, and facilitate cooperation in various domains, such as trade, diplomacy, and academic collaboration. For instance, the adoption of Esperanto as an international auxiliary language has demonstrated the potential for enhanced communication and cultural exchange among people from different linguistic backgrounds.
In conclusion, while challenges such as language preservation and cultural diversity should be addressed effectively, I believe that improved global understanding, enhanced cultural exchange, and streamlined international relations are some of the advantages that can be achieved through a common global language. Therefore, the benefits of inventing a new language for international communication outweigh the potential problems associated with its implementation.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct solution collocation Original: as a solution to overcome Suggested revision: as a way to overcome Why it matters: A solution addresses a problem, while a way is used to overcome one.
- 2. Use consistent paired terms Original: benefits and demerits Suggested revision: benefits and drawbacks Why it matters: “Benefits and drawbacks” is the standard balanced pairing used elsewhere in the essay.
- 3. Remove overlapping nouns Original: challenges and drawbacks associated with inventing Suggested revision: challenges associated with creating Why it matters: “Challenges” and “drawbacks” overlap in meaning, while “creating” avoids repeating “inventing.”
- 4. State the concern directly Original: preservation of cultural diversity and the potential loss Suggested revision: potential erosion of cultural diversity and the loss Why it matters: Preservation itself is not the concern; the risk is erosion or loss.
- 5. Remove subjective modifier Original: loss of valuable cultural diversity Suggested revision: loss of cultural diversity Why it matters: The value of diversity is already established, so “valuable” is unnecessary here.
- 6. Clarify pronoun reference Original: Despite the drawbacks, there are substantial advantages associated with it. Suggested revision: Despite these drawbacks, a new international language could offer substantial advantages. Why it matters: Naming the language directly removes the vague reference of “it.”
- 7. Use natural comparative term Original: improved global understanding Suggested revision: greater global understanding Why it matters: “Greater understanding” is the more natural collocation for an increase in comprehension.
- 8. Add article for result Original: limited exchange of ideas Suggested revision: a limited exchange of ideas Why it matters: The singular countable result phrase requires an article.
- 9. Use parallel background terms Original: diverse cultures and countries Suggested revision: diverse cultural and national backgrounds Why it matters: The parallel adjectives describe the people's different backgrounds more precisely.
- 10. Use precise planning adverb Original: should be addressed effectively Suggested revision: should be addressed carefully Why it matters: “Carefully” better conveys the need to manage the stated risks during planning.
- 11. Make benefits concise Original: are some of the advantages that can be achieved Suggested revision: are benefits that can be achieved Why it matters: The revision removes the wordy “some of the advantages” construction.
- 12. Avoid overlapping modifiers Original: common global language Suggested revision: common international language Why it matters: “Common” and “global” overlap, while “international” identifies the intended function.
Suggested Rewrites
- as a solution to overcome as a way to overcome
- benefits and demerits benefits and drawbacks
- challenges and drawbacks associated with inventing challenges associated with creating
- preservation of cultural diversity and the potential loss potential erosion of cultural diversity and the loss
- loss of valuable cultural diversity loss of cultural diversity
- Despite the drawbacks, there are substantial advantages associated with it. Despite these drawbacks, a new international language could offer substantial advantages.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its clear position and well-developed explanation of how a shared language could improve understanding and cooperation, supported by a relevant example. Its main limitation is that the conclusion claims several benefits not fully developed in the body, and the comparative weighing could be more explicit. The highest-priority improvement is to explain directly why the communication gains would outweigh the risk to linguistic heritage and how that risk could be mitigated.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response directly addresses the required comparison, develops a clear position, and supports both the main problem and benefit with relevant explanation.
Make the weighing more explicit by showing why the communication benefit is greater than the cultural risk and how preservation measures could reduce that risk.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly from the stated position through the drawback and advantage to a consistent conclusion, with cohesive devices used effectively.
Strengthen the transition between the two body paragraphs by signalling the precise basis on which the advantage outweighs the drawback.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and well suited to discussing language, culture, and international cooperation.
Avoid minor repetition of phrases such as “international communication” by using precise referencing where the meaning remains clear.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only rare minor awkwardness.
Refine occasional vague reference, such as “advantages associated with it,” by naming the proposed language directly.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Will the benefits of this outweigh the problems associated with it?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.