Some People think that public health within a country can be Improved by Government making laws regarding Nutritious food. Others, however, think that health is a matter of personal choice and responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
It has been argued that the public health in a countryhealth of the masses in a nation can be ameliorated by the government laws promoting a balanced dietlaws made by the government about a balanced diet. Others consider that keeping good health is a matter of individual choice, and they are themselves accountable for this. FromIn my perspective, I agree with the latter statement because people cannot be forced to eat particular foodsthey can be forced to eat anything because they are the masters of themselves.
To commence with, those who consider that making rules to encourage a healthy dietmaking rules to intake healthy diet can make them robust. They assume that people will eat less fast foodeat fast food less and eat a diet full of vitamins, minerals, and proteinminerals, vitamins and other essential proteins. A nutritious diet will not make them physically strong but mentally agile also. For instance, in many parts of the world, a multitude of suffering from malnutrition and their efficiency reduces. They are unable to do any work effectively. To make the conditions better, they rely on supplementstake shelter of supplements which also cannot fully restore their strengthcannot help them wholly to be strong. Thus, if the government makes laws encouraging a healthy diet,makes laws to eat a healthy diet; then, people will eat a nutritiousrich diet and experience fewer health problemsexperience fewer obstacles.
On the other hand, it has been arguedrecommended that it is a person’s choice to eat anything and they are responsible for their activities. This is said because people live in democratic countrieslive in a democratic country, where they are given full liberty to eat anything of their choice. They pay taxes to the government, so they have a right to choose the food of their choice. In addition, if they get sick, then they will be responsible. The government cannot be blamed for anything. To exemplify it, the availability of abundant minerals, vitamins in particular food and fruits do not compel a person to eat a balanced diet. They can get all the essential nutrients by consuming a few foods.
To conclude, in light of the above analysisin consideration of above analysis it is transparent that laws made by the government to make people healthy by suggesting a nutritious diet cannutritious diet, can work alot. HoweverBut, people have their own choice to eat anything because they live in an independent country, and they will be responsible for any damage to their health.
Why this response received Band 6.0
Clear paragraphing and a consistent preference for personal responsibility make the response easy to follow. However, both sides rely on simplistic or sometimes unclear reasoning, while frequent grammatical and collocational problems reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop each view with a logically explained, directly relevant example and then edit sentences for accurate structures and natural word combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a personal opinion are addressed, but several supporting points are simplistic, unclear, or only partly relevant.
Develop each side through a clear causal explanation and a concrete example that directly supports the stated view.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure gives the essay clear overall progression, although linking is sometimes mechanical and ideas within paragraphs do not always connect smoothly.
Use reference words and logical sentence connections to build each paragraph around one steadily developed argument.
Lexical Resource
The response shows an adequate range and attempts less common vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce naturalness and precision.
Prioritise accurate common combinations such as eat a healthy diet and suffer from malnutrition before using more ambitious vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex forms is attempted, but recurring errors in articles, agreement, clause construction, and punctuation weaken control.
Proofread each complex sentence for a complete clause structure and correct subject-verb agreement, articles, and conjunction pairs.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some People think that public health within a country can be Improved by Government making laws regarding Nutritious food. Others, however, think that health is a matter of personal choice and responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.