Over the past fifty years, international sports events such as the Olympic Games and World Cup competitions have played an increasingly important role in our society. However, these days, many people think such events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort. How far do you agree with the view that such sporting events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort?
Sample Response
During the preceding decades, World Cup and Olympic tournaments have gained immense attention because of their significant effectsdue to its vital effect on our society. But debates have emerged about their importance and whether they are worth the substantial sums of moneyworthy of the tremendous amount of money that is spent on organising thempoured to organize them. However, I have a firm conviction that such events are highly beneficial to societycompletely beneficial for us socially, financially, and politicallyfrom the social, financial, and political scale. Besides, I agree that they deserve all the money, time, and effort investedevery penny, minute and work that is exerted. Firstly, global sports competitions offer substantial benefitssports competitions, especially at the global level, have benefits. As they nurture the ambition to succeedambition of success in young people's mindsyouths’ mind thereby encouraging themwhich encourages them to do their best in training and preparation for such games, they motivate millions of young minds. ConsequentlyIn consequence, young peoplejuveniles focus on participating in athletics, and that helps combat drug abusetackles the invasion of drugs in our communities to a great extent. Regarding the economic advantagesadvantages on the economic basis, hostingarranging global sports events enhances the infrastructureinfrastructures of the host country. Moreover, it helps improve the national income besides providing more job opportunities both before and after the eventeven before or after the event. For example, the Brazilian economy flourished after hostinghas been flourishing after holding the world cup and the Olympic Games in 2014 and 2016, respectively. Besides, a positive impact of global tournaments, on international peace, was significantly observed in many situations. In such games, all players gather to share their passion for sports, regardless of relations between their countriesdespite the relations between their countries. For instance, in Athens 2004 Olympic games, South and North Korea participated as a country which was a good step towards achieving peace between them. In conclusion, sports events in global scale required money, time and effort. But the benefits they bring justifies the costs it requires.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and supports it with relevant social, economic, and international examples, giving the argument a persuasive overall direction. Its main limitation is that the entire essay is presented as one paragraph, while recurrent collocation and agreement errors reduce precision. The highest priority is to divide the argument into purposeful paragraphs and then edit each section for natural word combinations and grammatical agreement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear disagreement is sustained and supported with relevant social, economic, and political benefits, though some claims are only briefly substantiated.
Explain more explicitly how the stated benefits justify the money, time, and effort invested, using fully accurate evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a recognizable sequence and uses clear signposting, but presenting every idea in one paragraph weakens organization and topic focus.
Separate the introduction, each main benefit, and the conclusion into purposeful paragraphs with clear central topics.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied and sufficiently ambitious, but frequent awkward collocations and imprecise choices reduce naturalness and accuracy.
Use more conventional combinations for costs, infrastructure, youth participation, and international relations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is attempted successfully enough for meaning to remain clear, despite recurring agreement, article, preposition, and tense errors.
Proofread systematically for subject-verb agreement and noun-number consistency before refining article and preposition choices.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Over the past fifty years, international sports events such as the Olympic Games and World Cup competitions have played an increasingly important role in our society. However, these days, many people think such events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort. How far do you agree with the view that such sporting events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.