Over the past fifty years, international sports events such as the Olympic Games and World Cup competitions have played an increasingly important role in our society. However, these days, many people think such events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort. How far do you agree with the view that such sporting events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort?
Sample Response
Impacts and costs of international sporting events are quite controversial in the present time. Some of the schools are focusing on the benefits of holding international sports events while the opposite school is on the view that this is a waste of time, funds and effort. This essay delves with the viewpoint before it closes the argument. Firstly, international sporting events help to build some special relations between the hostile countries. For instance, the relationship between India and Pakistan is not so friendly and they have disputes on many issues. But the disputes are overlooked on the playground. When the teams participate in cricket, the relationships among the players are not hostile. They are cooperative and exercise the best friendly attitude with each other. If it continues, it is expected that the cold relations between the two countries will turn warmer someday. Moreover, such events bring foreign revenue, inspire sports lover to take part in outdoor games and promote a healthy lifestyle. But on the contrary, the disadvantages are also acknowledgeable. When an international and exciting sports competition is arranged, people want to watch those events – some prefer to watch live in the playground while many like to watch on television sitting at home. To enjoy a high voltage cricket match or exciting Olympic events, people need to waste their valuable times both day and night. A hardcore cricket fan may bunk office, school or may make late-rising early next morning for sleeping late at night. Thereby, in a greater consideration, this is a waste of time, effort and money for the ordinary people. On top of that, hosting those events requires a huge sum of money and efforts. To finish the argument, I would like to say that, though arranging big events is costly, they have many advantages. They promote friendly relationship, entertain people, promote tourism and inspire young people to participate more in sports. This is why I disagree with the view that big sporting events are an enormous waste of fund, time and effort.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Natural time phrase Original: in the present time Suggested revision: at present Why it matters: At present is the standard concise expression.
- 2. Clarify the group Original: Some of the schools Suggested revision: Some schools of thought Why it matters: Schools of thought correctly refers to groups holding different opinions.
- 3. Unnatural expression Original: the opposite school is on the view Suggested revision: the opposing school holds the view Why it matters: Hold the view is the standard collocation for expressing an opinion.
- 4. Wrong verb pattern Original: delves with the viewpoint Suggested revision: examines this viewpoint Why it matters: Delve does not take with and is unsuitable in this construction.
- 5. More precise wording Original: some special relations Suggested revision: stronger relations Why it matters: Stronger directly expresses the improvement in relations.
- 6. Remove article Original: between the hostile countries Suggested revision: between hostile countries Why it matters: The countries are mentioned generally, so the definite article is unnecessary.
- 7. Concise relationship term Original: the relationships among the players Suggested revision: relations among the players Why it matters: Relations is more concise for interactions between groups of players.
- 8. Wrong collocation Original: exercise the best friendly attitude Suggested revision: display a friendly attitude Why it matters: Display an attitude is the natural collocation.
- 9. Plural noun needed Original: sports lover Suggested revision: sports lovers Why it matters: The statement refers to sports enthusiasts generally, so a plural noun is required.
- 10. Redundant contrast Original: But on the contrary Suggested revision: However Why it matters: But and on the contrary duplicate the same contrast function.
- 11. Wrong adjective Original: acknowledgeable Suggested revision: notable Why it matters: Acknowledgeable does not mean worthy of consideration in this context.
- 12. Wrong venue term Original: watch live in the playground Suggested revision: watch live at the venue Why it matters: A sporting event is watched at a venue or stadium, not in a playground.
Suggested Rewrites
- in the present time at present
- Some of the schools Some schools of thought
- the opposite school is on the view the opposing school holds the view
- delves with the viewpoint examines this viewpoint
- some special relations stronger relations
- between the hostile countries between hostile countries
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response states a clear disagreement and supports it with a sustained example about sport improving relations between hostile countries, alongside relevant benefits and costs. However, the discussion becomes uneven: several benefits are merely listed, the hosting-cost point is undeveloped, and the entire argument lacks paragraph breaks. The most important improvement is to organise the response into focused paragraphs and develop each major claim with precise explanation rather than adding brief assertions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A clear final position is supported by relevant discussion, but development is uneven and some important claims, especially hosting costs, receive little explanation.
State the degree of disagreement in the introduction and develop the strongest benefit and drawback in comparable depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas progress from benefits to drawbacks and conclusion, but mechanical linking and the absence of paragraph breaks weaken the overall organisation.
Use separate introduction, benefit, drawback, and conclusion paragraphs, with transitions that express the precise logical relationship between ideas.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of topic vocabulary, but frequent unnatural collocations and word-form choices sometimes make expression awkward.
Replace phrases such as opposite school, valuable times, and make late-rising with natural, context-appropriate wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied sentence forms, while recurring agreement, plural, article, and clause-construction errors remain noticeable without usually obscuring meaning.
Focus revision on countable nouns, subject-verb agreement, and complete verb patterns in longer sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Over the past fifty years, international sports events such as the Olympic Games and World Cup competitions have played an increasingly important role in our society. However, these days, many people think such events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort. How far do you agree with the view that such sporting events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.