Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to on-campus classes. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
In recent times, most universities have introduced online courses as an alternative to the traditional on-campus classes. This development has directly sparked a debate about its overall impact on education. While these online courses offer convenience and flexibility, they also present challenges that can affect the quality of one’s learning. I firmly believe that this trend has both positive and negative aspects that deserve careful consideration.
Talking about the positives, one main advantage of online courses is that they make a person’s education more accessible and flexible. Students who live far from their campuses, have work commitments, or even face mobility challenges can pursue their studies without relocating. For instance, online platforms like Coursera and Udemy allow students to earn certifications from top universities without leaving their homes. This expands opportunities for their higher education and makes it flexible for professionals working on upgrading their skills.
However, online learning also has its significant drawbacks that cannot be ignored. A lack of face-to-face interaction may lessen student engagement and opportunities for collaboration, which in turn hinders their critical thinking skills. For example, many students are seen to be isolated in their thoughts during online classes and miss the dynamic discussions. Moreover, networking opportunities are something that only traditional classrooms provide.
In conclusion, though the online classes are comfortable and convenient, they may not fully give the academic and social experiences of a traditional classroom setting. Hence, the concept of it has both advantages and disadvantages to it.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unnecessary article Original: the traditional on-campus classes Suggested revision: traditional on-campus classes Why it matters: The plural noun phrase is used generally, so the definite article is unnecessary.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: quality of one’s learning Suggested revision: quality of learning Why it matters: The impersonal possessive makes this phrase less natural than the concise alternative.
- 3. Use formal transition Original: Talking about the positives Suggested revision: Turning to the benefits Why it matters: This transition introduces the positive side in a more formal academic register.
- 4. Avoid vague reference Original: a person’s education Suggested revision: education Why it matters: The generic possessive is unnecessary and makes the expression less direct.
- 5. Correct collocation Original: opportunities for their higher education Suggested revision: access to higher education Why it matters: The replacement uses the natural collocation for describing increased educational availability.
- 6. Clarify sentence structure Original: makes it flexible for professionals working on upgrading their skills Suggested revision: gives working professionals flexibility to upgrade their skills Why it matters: The original uses an unclear pronoun and an awkward verb pattern.
- 7. Remove incorrect possessive Original: its significant drawbacks Suggested revision: significant drawbacks Why it matters: The possessive determiner is unnecessary after the existential construction with “has.”
- 8. Use precise verb Original: lessen Suggested revision: reduce Why it matters: “Reduce” is the more natural verb for a decline in engagement.
- 9. Clarify reference Original: which in turn hinders their critical thinking skills Suggested revision: which in turn can hinder students’ development of critical-thinking skills Why it matters: The revision removes the ambiguous pronoun and keeps the degree of certainty consistent with “may.”
- 10. Use natural expression Original: are seen to be isolated in their thoughts Suggested revision: may feel intellectually isolated Why it matters: The original passive expression is awkward and does not clearly describe the students’ experience.
- 11. Improve verb phrase Original: miss the dynamic discussions Suggested revision: miss out on dynamic discussions Why it matters: “Miss out on” more accurately conveys losing access to classroom discussions.
- 12. Use concise opener Original: In recent times Suggested revision: Recently Why it matters: The single adverb expresses the time reference more concisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- the traditional on-campus classes traditional on-campus classes
- quality of one’s learning quality of learning
- Talking about the positives Turning to the benefits
- a person’s education education
- opportunities for their higher education access to higher education
- makes it flexible for professionals working on upgrading their skills gives working professionals flexibility to upgrade their skills
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is well organised and gives relevant, reasonably developed explanations of accessibility and reduced classroom interaction, supported by clear examples. Its main limitation is that it never makes a sufficiently decisive overall evaluation of whether the development is positive or negative, while several awkward collocations reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to weigh the two sides explicitly and state which has the greater impact.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response discusses relevant benefits and drawbacks with supporting examples, but its position that the trend has both aspects does not clearly evaluate whether it is positive or negative overall.
Explicitly compare the significance of the advantages and disadvantages and give a clear final judgement on which side outweighs the other.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear four-paragraph structure, with generally effective paragraph focus and cohesive links.
Use less formulaic transitions and make the relationship between the two sides more explicitly comparative.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, though awkward collocations such as giving experiences and isolated in their thoughts reduce precision.
Choose more natural academic collocations and avoid vague repeated expressions when describing educational and social outcomes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A useful range of simple and complex structures is generally controlled, despite recurring article, pronoun, and sentence-construction lapses.
Proofread complex sentences for article use, clear pronoun reference, and natural verb-complement patterns.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to on-campus classes. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.