Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to on-campus classes. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
Technology has soared high and has impacted nearly every nook and corner of our daily lives, and education is assuredly one of them, too. There has been an ongoing trend of inclusion of online classes, and of late, the online medium is being inclined towards more than ever. However, I feel this trend is good for the sake of human development, and I shall be elucidating the same in the forthcoming sections.
There are innumerable positive impacts of this surge, as it has reportedly helped a massive proportion of students and people of any age to learn at their own convenience and ease, which was not commonly seen. The people living in the remote areas and the rough terrains who, owing to the geographical obstructions or weather conditions, were somehow not able to be consistent with their learning, as they often missed their schools/colleges, have now, with the online alternative, been relieved of such shortcomings. Moreover, for the skill enhancement too, it has become quite feasible for people to go around, pick their favourite mentors around and learn at their own pace without having to undergo the humdrum of finding an institute.
Secondly, online admissions to various coaching institutes and centres are much affordable and providential as compared to the offline ones. The prime reason for this is having to pay jumbo taxes and bills in an offline setup. Then, had the e-media not been there, in the wake of the pandemic, it would have been extremely difficult to even think of with the continuity of educating people around the world, and this would have curbed the learning process devastatingly. The best part that I personally find is the luxury of going through the classes for the people who were socially or physically restrained from doing so due to various reasons like physical disabilities, gender bias, age-shaming, etc. This has indeed revolutionised the whole status of education.
Some people though could put forth that online education may halt the learning process as it could impede the actual one on one interaction between a teacher and a student or among students, however, If the sessions are made interesting, interactive and stringent too, to a certain capacity like making everyone putting their camera on with a formal frame of conduct, such discrepancies could be ousted easily.
In conclusion, it could be stated that online education has indeed been a boon to mankind and a gift of technology that we should revere and extract the best benefits from.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise description Original: soared high Suggested revision: advanced rapidly Why it matters: Soared high is an unnatural way to describe technological development.
- 2. Use formal phrasing Original: every nook and corner Suggested revision: every aspect Why it matters: Every aspect is more precise and appropriate for an academic essay.
- 3. Clarify the reference Original: education is assuredly one of them, too Suggested revision: education is one area it has transformed Why it matters: The pronoun them has no clear plural referent in the preceding clause.
- 4. Use natural phrasing Original: trend of inclusion of online classes Suggested revision: trend towards offering online classes Why it matters: Trend towards offering is the natural construction for this development.
- 5. Correct passive construction Original: the online medium is being inclined towards more than ever Suggested revision: online learning is being embraced more than ever Why it matters: The original passive construction is incomplete because it does not identify what people favour.
- 6. Use concise wording Original: good for the sake of human development Suggested revision: beneficial for human development Why it matters: Beneficial for expresses the intended evaluation more directly.
- 7. Avoid inflated phrasing Original: I shall be elucidating the same Suggested revision: I will explain why Why it matters: The original expression is unnecessarily formal and same has an unclear reference.
- 8. Use measured wording Original: innumerable positive impacts of this surge Suggested revision: many positive effects of this trend Why it matters: The revision avoids exaggeration and identifies the development more clearly.
- 9. Remove category overlap Original: students and people of any age Suggested revision: learners of all ages Why it matters: Learners of all ages includes students without listing overlapping groups.
- 10. Remove redundancy Original: at their own convenience and ease Suggested revision: at their own convenience Why it matters: Convenience and ease repeat the same idea in this phrase.
- 11. Clarify vague reference Original: which was not commonly seen Suggested revision: an opportunity that was previously less common Why it matters: The relative clause does not clearly identify what was uncommon.
- 12. Correct article use Original: The people living in the remote areas and the rough terrains Suggested revision: People living in remote or rugged areas Why it matters: General plural nouns do not need the here, and people live in areas rather than terrains.
Suggested Rewrites
- soared high advanced rapidly
- every nook and corner every aspect
- education is assuredly one of them, too education is one area it has transformed
- trend of inclusion of online classes trend towards offering online classes
- the online medium is being inclined towards more than ever online learning is being embraced more than ever
- good for the sake of human development beneficial for human development
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay maintains a clear positive position and offers several relevant benefits, especially access for remote, disabled, and otherwise excluded learners. Its main weakness is that ambitious wording and very long sentence structures frequently become unnatural or imprecise, which reduces clarity; the priority is to express fewer claims in shorter, more idiomatic sentences and keep the examples focused specifically on university courses.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is sustained and supported with several relevant advantages plus a brief response to a disadvantage.
Keep each supporting example explicitly tied to university online courses rather than broadening the discussion to schools and coaching centres.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical overall structure and clear paragraph purposes, although several overloaded sentences weaken internal progression.
Divide long chains of explanation into shorter sentences and use referencing more precisely to clarify how each point develops.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a broad vocabulary, but frequent unnatural collocations and exaggerated word choices reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace strained phrases such as soared high, providential, jumbo taxes, and revere with simpler, context-appropriate academic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a good range of complex structures, but recurring errors in comparison, verb patterns, punctuation, and clause control remain noticeable.
Prioritise accurate clause boundaries and verb forms, correcting patterns such as much affordable and making everyone putting their camera on.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to on-campus classes. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.