In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate online and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is this a positive or negative development?
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Sample Response
The world we live in today has been elevating higher and higher in terms of digital definitions and has unequivocally morphed it in substantial aspects. It has undoubtedly madeIt assuredly has made the lives of people much easier and more comfortablevery facile and comfortable. This essay argues that it isscrutinizes how it has been a favourable innovation.
The velocity with which people are making headway and the entire human cohort at large wouldn’t have been possible had digitization not been there to anchor. Across work, development, and researchIn all the categories of work front, development, researches, online advances have accelerated growthonline advancement has heightened and accelerated the growth. It has saved timeIt has been time-saving and more efficient through online interactionsmuch more efficacious through online clicks and flicks. It has been helpful for a growing population's commuting and accommodation needsconducive to the increasing population’s commute and accommodation, particularly in relation to workplacesprimarily in the workplaces. With the advent of online platformse-medium, it has been convenient to work, dine, and studyfairly lucrative to be working, dining, studying from places we preferin the comfort of our preferred places. For instance, given the worldwide disruption caused by Covid-19with the havoc and pandemic world that has been evidenced in the wake of Covid-19, it is unimaginable to even think of how the world's activitiesexecution and processing of the world would have been if there was no support of digital technologystanchion of the digital nuances.
In education as wellIn the teaching purview as well, digitization and online learningmetamorphosis have taken long strides. For instance, nearly every institution, college, school and coaching centre have adopted online teaching toolsresorted to online paraphernalia of pedagogy, which would not have been possiblewhere it couldn’t have been possible had the innovation in this channel not been made. Moreover, many underprivileged children who might not have got access to learn in an offline medium otherwise, are now able to get touched with the new wave of e-learning.
Some may also believe in the notion of causative deleterious effects which are corrosive and caustic to the development of vulnerable and faltering mindsets, particularly, children and adolescents in the terms of ludicrous contents, but the risks of it could be contained and tapered-off with correct supervision and surveillance of responsible guardians and adults.
Conclusively, it could be said that the perspective of growth curves the world today has been driven in is principally because of the proliferating computer age and online transformation. Hence, for the most of it, it is indeed a positive development for the modern world.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear positive position and uses relevant examples from work and education, with an evident attempt at sophisticated language and complex structures. Its main limitation is that it only partially engages with living without face-to-face contact, while frequent inflated or inaccurate wording makes several sentences difficult to process. Prioritise direct analysis of the specific social-contact issue and replace ornate expressions with precise, natural language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear positive position is maintained, but the discussion focuses mainly on general digital convenience and education rather than the consequences of avoiding face-to-face contact.
Develop arguments that directly examine online shopping, work, and communication as substitutes for in-person interaction.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a recognisable progression from benefits to a counterpoint and conclusion, though several dense sentences weaken clarity within paragraphs.
Use shorter topic-led sentences and make each example's connection to the central argument explicit.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide and ambitious, but frequent inaccurate or inflated combinations such as 'digital definitions' and 'paraphernalia of pedagogy' reduce precision.
Prefer familiar, exact vocabulary and verify that advanced words fit both the intended meaning and their usual collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay attempts varied complex structures, but recurrent problems with sentence construction, agreement, reference, and modification sometimes strain meaning.
Build complex sentences around clear subjects and verbs, then proofread agreement and pronoun reference before adding modifiers.