Nowadays online shopping has become more popular than in-store shopping. Is it a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
The number of people who purchase various products and services online is increasing in recent times more than ever before. This has certainly affected the business of shopping centres to a great extent. However, I consider this development positive due to several reasons.
To begin with, e-shopping is generally considered to be more convenient for customers than in-store purchasing. Perhaps, this is because many people, nowadays, are unable to find adequate time to go shopping as they are too busy with professional or personal responsibilities. For example, virtual shopping websites such as eBay and Amazon provide a wide range of products online, which cater to the needs of individuals from the comfort of their homes. Moreover, such shopping sites have considerably reduced major inconveniences associated with shopping, like travelling to distant shops, parking vehicles in crowded cities and spending a considerable amount of time.
Furthermore, online shopping allows people to select from a wide range of products, and the prices and features of products are often compared. This has enabled customers to choose the right products that suit their needs. For instance, popular online shops in India, namely Flipkart and Jabong have not only provided detailed information about their products on sale but also customers' opinions and reviews on their product experience. Besides, placed orders on these websites can be altered or cancelled by customers, and purchased products can also be returned if they do not meet the assured quality.
In conclusion, online shopping offers greater benefits to customers when compared to in-store purchasing. Clearly, while it converts shopping into a hassle-free experience, shopping over the internet is increasingly convenient, too. Therefore, I think this is definitely a positive trend and the popularity of online shopping is likely to continue.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise wording Original: to a great extent Suggested revision: considerably Why it matters: The adverb expresses the degree more concisely.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: positive due to several reasons Suggested revision: positive for several reasons Why it matters: “Positive for several reasons” is the more natural construction for introducing an evaluation.
- 3. Remove the comma Original: Perhaps, this Suggested revision: Perhaps this Why it matters: A sentence-initial single-word adverb does not require a comma here.
- 4. Remove interrupting commas Original: many people, nowadays, Suggested revision: many people nowadays Why it matters: “Nowadays” integrates directly into this clause and should not be isolated by commas.
- 5. Use formal exemplification Original: like travelling to distant shops Suggested revision: such as travelling to distant shops Why it matters: “Such as” introduces examples more formally and precisely.
- 6. Use concise wording Original: right products that suit Suggested revision: most suitable products for Why it matters: The replacement avoids repeating the idea of suitability in “right” and “suit.”
- 7. Correct modifier order Original: placed orders on these websites Suggested revision: orders placed on these websites Why it matters: The past participle should follow the noun to form the reduced relative clause.
- 8. Use natural collocation Original: assured Suggested revision: promised Why it matters: “Promised quality” more naturally describes the standard advertised to customers.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: The number of people who purchase various products and services online is increasing in recent times more than ever before. Suggested revision: The number of people purchasing products and services online has recently increased to an unprecedented level. Why it matters: The rewrite corrects the tense and removes the redundant combination of “in recent times” and “more than ever before.”
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: For example, virtual shopping websites such as eBay and Amazon provide a wide range of products online, which cater to the needs of individuals from the comfort of their homes. Suggested revision: For example, online marketplaces such as eBay and Amazon offer a wide range of products and allow individuals to shop from the comfort of their homes. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the misplaced relative clause that incorrectly suggests the products provide comfort at home.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: For instance, popular online shops in India, namely Flipkart and Jabong have not only provided detailed information about their products on sale but also customers' opinions and reviews on their product experience. Suggested revision: For instance, popular online shops in India, namely Flipkart and Jabong, provide not only detailed information about products on sale but also customer reviews of those products. Why it matters: The rewrite adds the missing comma, makes the correlative structure parallel, and removes the awkward review phrase.
Suggested Rewrites
- to a great extent considerably
- positive due to several reasons positive for several reasons
- Perhaps, this Perhaps this
- many people, nowadays, many people nowadays
- like travelling to distant shops such as travelling to distant shops
- right products that suit most suitable products for
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay’s strongest feature is its consistently clear positive evaluation, developed through convenience, wider choice, product comparison and flexible ordering, with relevant commercial examples. Its main limitation is minor: several benefits overlap and a few phrases are awkward or grammatically non-parallel. To improve further, organise the second body paragraph around informed choice and consumer protection, then refine its example so every supporting detail directly advances that idea.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the question, sustains a clear position, and develops multiple relevant benefits with specific examples.
Deepen the evaluation by explaining briefly why convenience and consumer choice outweigh a plausible disadvantage such as reduced business for physical shops.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is purposeful and ideas progress logically from convenience to choice and purchasing flexibility, with generally smooth cohesive links.
Reduce slight overlap in the conclusion and give the second body paragraph one clearer controlling idea that unites comparison, reviews, cancellations, and returns.
Lexical Resource
A broad and generally precise range supports discussion of retail, convenience, consumer choice, and purchasing conditions, with occasional awkward collocations.
Replace phrases such as “increasing in recent times more than ever,” “placed orders,” and “assured quality” with more natural alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is used with good control, although occasional punctuation and parallelism issues remain.
Make the Flipkart sentence grammatically parallel by stating that the sites provide both product details and customer reviews, and add the missing comma after “Jabong.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays online shopping has become more popular than in-store shopping. Is it a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.