Some universities now offer their courses on the internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
It is well known fact that, modern applied science has made education global in its nature and scope. This now where is more evident than, mere varsities now offer their courses on the global village so that individuals can study online. The following paragraphs will elaborate the positive coupled with negative aspects in different fields and how the way is being affected by cutthroat.
There are many reasons which I would consider to substantiate my view. The primary is that modern technology allows wider communication and interaction. Firstly, universities provide many opportunities to students along with they provide best teaching method. A student who can study online from varsities due to the they can learn many things by it. In cite an example of, a pupil who learn from internet due to the they can attain about different courses along with their mind develop and their time also consume by it. Many effects like, if students can study online due to the they can attach new masses along with they get new things by it.
Moreover, there is no doubt online study has its benefits but other side it has negative effects. Firstly, education a moot issue everywhere, is undergoing tremendous changes to meet challenges. A student who can study online due to the sometime somethings are very difficult they cannot easily understand without help of teacher. Namely, a pupil who can study by internet at home due to the their communication skills not improve by it. In fact, if students can study online for long hour along with their eyesight weak by use more computer.
When all is said and done, many disadvantages of study online but its merits cannot be underestimated. Students can better understand from teachers rather than other things. Children is a nation builder and every nation depends on them.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use accurate term Original: modern applied science Suggested revision: modern technology Why it matters: This term accurately names the technological development being discussed.
- 2. Clarify paragraph link Original: which I would consider to substantiate my view Suggested revision: that support this view Why it matters: The shorter relative clause connects the reasons to the stated view more directly.
- 3. Complete the noun phrase Original: The primary is that Suggested revision: The main reason is that Why it matters: Primary cannot stand alone here as the noun for a reason.
- 4. Fix clause connection Original: along with they provide Suggested revision: and provide Why it matters: Along with cannot directly coordinate this finite clause.
- 5. Add article and plural Original: best teaching method Suggested revision: the best teaching methods Why it matters: The superlative needs the definite article, and the general reference is naturally plural.
- 6. Use example marker Original: In cite an example of, Suggested revision: For example, Why it matters: The original expression is not a valid phrase for introducing an example.
- 7. Fix verb agreement Original: learn Suggested revision: learns Why it matters: The singular subject pupil requires the third-person singular verb learns.
- 8. Add definite article Original: from internet Suggested revision: from the internet Why it matters: Internet conventionally takes the definite article in this construction.
- 9. Clarify course access Original: due to the they can attain about different courses Suggested revision: can access different courses Why it matters: The replacement expresses the intended benefit with an accurate verb and no malformed causal phrase.
- 10. Fix number agreement Original: mind Suggested revision: minds Why it matters: The plural possessive reference requires minds, which then agrees with develop.
- 11. Repair passive structure Original: their time also consume by it Suggested revision: they also save time Why it matters: The original clause lacks the auxiliary needed for a passive and obscures the intended benefit.
- 12. Use contrast linker Original: but other side Suggested revision: but, on the other hand, Why it matters: This standard linker clearly marks the shift from benefits to disadvantages.
Suggested Rewrites
- modern applied science modern technology
- which I would consider to substantiate my view that support this view
- The primary is that The main reason is that
- along with they provide and provide
- best teaching method the best teaching methods
- In cite an example of, For example,
Why this response received Band 4.5
The response’s clearest strength is that it attempts to consider both benefits and drawbacks of online university study and uses separate paragraphs for them. However, its position is ambiguous, ideas are thin or unclear, and pervasive grammar and word-choice errors often obstruct meaning. The highest priority is to state a direct judgement and develop two relevant reasons in simple, accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response mentions positive and negative aspects, but its position is unclear and most ideas receive little coherent explanation.
State whether the development is mainly positive or negative, then support that judgement with two clearly explained reasons.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing separates the broad sides of the discussion, but progression within paragraphs is weak and linking expressions are often mechanical or misused.
Give each body paragraph one central idea and connect its supporting sentences through clear logical relationships.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts some varied vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations make many statements difficult to understand.
Prefer familiar, precise vocabulary and learn common collocations for education, technology, benefits, and disadvantages.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and clause formation regularly obstruct meaning, with very few accurately controlled sentences.
Build shorter complete sentences first, checking subject-verb agreement, articles, and clause boundaries before adding complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some universities now offer their courses on the internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.