- Nowadays more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face, is this a positive or negative development?
This response is estimated at Band 6.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
Global digital mediaThe global digital media has brought about the reduced importance of time and distancethe death of time and space. Now people tend to converseConverse more via social apps like WhatsApp, Facebook, or Instagram than in person. It is overallby all means a positive development because it saves people’s time and helps people improve their communication skillscertainly people enhance their communication skills.
First off, today’s paradigm shift has made it necessary to converseConverse online as people have hectic schedules. So, getting together online saves time. For exampleTo exemplify it, people work round the clock and hardly haveget time to meet their friends or relatives. Therefore, they communicate online, and in this way, they can stay in touch with them. MoreoverApart from it, now and then, unavoidable circumstances make it necessaryhave made it mandatory to converse online. So, it saves their time and at the same time helps them maintain their relationshipshelps to retain their relationships.
To continue, using the internet for socializing online with their loved ones not only equips them with the latest techniques but also improves their communication skill. For example, most peoplemost of the people lack confidence when conversing onlinefeel incapable of conversing online because of their reserved nature. If they converseConverse online, they gradually overcome their shyness and communicate fluently. Eventually, this practice helps them communicate more fluentlyit helps in making them fluent. So, it is a good way to improve communicationsoft skills.
In conclusion, modern lifea modern time has made it indispensable to make friends and stay connectedmake friends as well as to stay connected with loved ones through different apps. Getting together online equips them with good communication skills and also makes them aware of the current technology which offers features such asprovides them the amenities of video calls or conferences as well.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear positive position and follows a readily understandable two-reason structure, with relevant points about convenience and confidence. Its main limitation is that the support becomes repetitive and sometimes rests on unconvincing generalisations, while several awkward collocations reduce precision. Develop each reason with a specific, credible example and revise recurring phrases so that the argument becomes more persuasive and linguistically controlled.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and two relevant benefits are explained, but development is repetitive and some supporting claims are insufficiently convincing.
Use one specific real-world example for each benefit and explain the causal link instead of restating the claim.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and overall progression are clear, although frequent basic signposts and repeated ideas make cohesion somewhat mechanical.
Reduce repeated connectors such as 'So' and create smoother links by referring directly to the preceding idea.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, but recurring collocational imprecision and unnecessary capitalisation limit flexibility and accuracy.
Use more natural combinations for technology and communication, and proofread repeated words such as 'converse' for correct capitalisation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms communicates the argument clearly, but errors in articles, agreement, reference, and phrasing occur across the response.
Prioritise checking article use and subject-verb agreement in complex sentences before adding further structural variety.