Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
It is an irrefutable fact that the phenomenon of communication is pervasive across the globe due to its importance. Controversy exists as to whether individuals utilize more social media to communicate news and events rather than using traditional ways is a favourable or unfavourable trend. The specific reasons that surround my opinion will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.
Analyzing the constructive part, firstly, the key advantage of social media is that it is the most convenient way to connect with people across the globe, which was not possible earlier. It is undoubtedly positive for the millennial generation as they like everything in one touch, from ordering food to making a friend. Therefore, one can connect with people with the convenience of time and platform. To vindicate, according to BBC news, more than 77% of individuals use media to remain in touch with their family members, friends and colleagues.
Another positive outlook is that it assists local traders to advertise their products. To elaborate, their trade has expanded to an international level due to the emergence and popularity of virtual shopping through social media. Consequently, these meritorious points clearly show the brighter side of this trend.
Discussing the destructive part, one of the potential shortcomings of this trend is that a person cannot rely on social media for interaction and information about news. To elucidate it, most of the time, false information is forwarded, which leads to the creation of confusion in the mind of users. Another common pitfall is that social media is applicable only for those who can afford the internet facility. In other words, social media is beyond the reach of every person. Henceforth, it is evident that this trend has certain demerits.
In conclusion, after considering the points mentioned above, it can be inferred that using social media to interact with others is undoubtedly has more positive effects than negative trends. Needless to state, the best way forward is to embrace the positives and mitigate the bad aspects.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the collocation Original: reasons that surround my opinion Suggested revision: reasons for my opinion Why it matters: Reasons are for an opinion rather than surrounding it.
- 2. Use formal reference Original: upcoming Suggested revision: following Why it matters: Following is the conventional way to refer to later parts of an essay.
- 3. Use a clear transition Original: Analyzing the constructive part Suggested revision: Considering the advantages Why it matters: This transition identifies the function of the paragraph more directly.
- 4. Use natural sequencing Original: firstly Suggested revision: first Why it matters: First is the more natural sequencing adverb in this construction.
- 5. Correct the expression Original: everything in one touch Suggested revision: to do everything with one touch Why it matters: The original preposition and structure are not idiomatic English.
- 6. Use the plural Original: making a friend Suggested revision: making friends Why it matters: The plural form is natural when describing this activity generally.
- 7. Clarify the convenience Original: with the convenience of time and platform Suggested revision: at a convenient time and on a suitable platform Why it matters: The revision expresses both kinds of convenience with appropriate prepositions.
- 8. Use an example marker Original: To vindicate Suggested revision: For example Why it matters: Vindicate does not function as a transition introducing supporting evidence.
- 9. Capitalize the name Original: news Suggested revision: News Why it matters: Both words are part of the proper name and require capitalization.
- 10. Name the medium Original: use media Suggested revision: use social media Why it matters: The more specific phrase keeps the evidence connected to the stated topic.
- 11. Use the right noun Original: Another positive outlook Suggested revision: Another advantage Why it matters: Outlook refers to an attitude or forecast, whereas this sentence introduces a benefit.
- 12. Use natural complementation Original: assists local traders to advertise Suggested revision: helps local traders advertise Why it matters: Help followed by the bare infinitive is more natural in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- reasons that surround my opinion reasons for my opinion
- upcoming following
- Analyzing the constructive part Considering the advantages
- firstly first
- everything in one touch to do everything with one touch
- making a friend making friends
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response has a clear overall judgement and an easy-to-follow positive-versus-negative structure, with enough vocabulary to communicate its main ideas. However, several supporting points, especially product advertising, news reliability, and internet affordability, drift away from the specific comparison between online and face-to-face socialising, while awkward phrasing weakens precision. Focus on developing directly relevant social consequences and express them in simpler, more natural sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response states a clear positive judgement and presents both benefits and drawbacks, but several ideas are only loosely connected to online socialising.
Develop consequences that directly compare online interaction with face-to-face relationships, such as convenience, emotional connection, or isolation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a clear overall structure, although formulaic signposting and mechanical transitions sometimes make progression feel staged.
Use fewer stock transition phrases and link each sentence through the logical relationship between its ideas.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range to discuss the topic, but frequent awkward collocations and imprecise choices reduce naturalness and accuracy.
Replace inflated phrases such as constructive part and meritorious points with direct, topic-specific vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentences, but recurring errors in clause structure, agreement, and phrasing remain noticeable.
Prioritise accurate sentence frames for indirect questions and conclusions, then proofread for subject-verb agreement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.