The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent you agree or disagree
Sample Response
Some people argue that providing parents with necessary parenting techniques is the most effective way to cope with increasing rates of juvenile delinquency. From my perspective, joint efforts from families and schools are needed to curb those heightened concerns.
To start with, children tend to unconsciously imitate words and actions of adults. Therefore, it is of paramount importance that parents should serve as powerful role models not only through direct interactions with their children, but through the examples they set with their attitude and behavior within the family and in the outside world. There is mounting evidence that bad upbringing can exert bad implications on a child’s livelihood, increasing the chance of their involvement in juvenile offences. Therefore, parental training such as developing and practicing positive discipline technique could prevent and reduce youth crimes.
On the other hand, schools and other educational institutions also play a major part in the prevention and control of juvenile crime. While parents can act as the first defense in decreasing young offenders, it is noteworthy that children may commit a crime or other wrongdoings under negative peer pressure at school. In other words, schools second only to families in their potential to affect children’s mental health. They can contribute to young people’s success development by providing nurturance and the opportunity to develop social and psychological skills. Eventually, school-based programs are crucial in keeping children from embarking on a life of crime.
In conclusion, in order to address the problem of youth crime, parental training along with positive school guidance for youngsters would help shape young minds into law-abiding citizens.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add definite article Original: with necessary parenting techniques Suggested revision: with the necessary parenting techniques Why it matters: The specific techniques presented as necessary require the definite article.
- 2. Correct the collocation Original: curb those heightened concerns Suggested revision: address this growing concern Why it matters: A concern is addressed, while crime itself can be curbed.
- 3. Complete paired conjunction Original: but through the examples Suggested revision: but also through the examples Why it matters: The 'not only' construction requires 'but also' before the second element.
- 4. Use plural nouns Original: attitude Suggested revision: attitudes Why it matters: The plural possessive refers to the individual attitudes of multiple parents.
- 5. Use natural collocations Original: bad upbringing can exert bad implications Suggested revision: poor upbringing can have negative effects Why it matters: 'Have negative effects' is idiomatic, while 'exert implications' is not.
- 6. Choose the right noun Original: on a child’s livelihood Suggested revision: on a child's well-being Why it matters: 'Well-being' describes a child's welfare, whereas 'livelihood' refers to earning a living.
- 7. Clarify the reference Original: the chance of their involvement Suggested revision: the likelihood of that child's involvement Why it matters: The revision keeps the singular child as the clear referent and uses a more precise noun.
- 8. Use plural form Original: technique Suggested revision: techniques Why it matters: The general category of methods requires a plural count noun here.
- 9. Correct the expression Original: first defense in decreasing young offenders Suggested revision: first line of defense in reducing juvenile offending Why it matters: This revision uses the standard expression and targets offending rather than reducing people.
- 10. Fix coordination Original: commit a crime or other wrongdoings Suggested revision: commit crimes or engage in other wrongdoing Why it matters: The revised verbs and noun forms create grammatically parallel alternatives.
- 11. Add the main verb Original: schools second only to families Suggested revision: schools are second only to families Why it matters: The clause needs the linking verb 'are' to form a complete statement.
- 12. Correct word form Original: success Suggested revision: successful Why it matters: The adjective 'successful' correctly modifies the noun 'development'.
Suggested Rewrites
- with necessary parenting techniques with the necessary parenting techniques
- curb those heightened concerns address this growing concern
- but through the examples but also through the examples
- attitude attitudes
- bad upbringing can exert bad implications poor upbringing can have negative effects
- on a child’s livelihood on a child's well-being
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response maintains a clear qualified position that parental training should be combined with school guidance, and its two main ideas are relevant and coherently developed. The main weakness is recurring imprecision in word choice and sentence construction, which makes several otherwise strong points sound unnatural. The highest priority is to use accurate collocations and complete grammatical structures while explaining more directly why parental education alone cannot be the best solution.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay presents a clear alternative to relying solely on parental education and develops relevant roles for both families and schools.
State the extent of disagreement explicitly and compare the two interventions more directly to answer the claim that parental training is the best method.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure supports clear progression, and ideas are connected logically despite some mechanical or slightly inaccurate linking.
Use cohesive phrases according to their exact logical function, especially where a sentence adds a new point rather than restating the previous one.
Lexical Resource
There is a broad topic-specific vocabulary, but recurring collocational and word-form problems reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace phrases such as bad implications, child's livelihood, decreasing young offenders, and success development with accurate context-specific wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures, but noticeable errors in verb omission, number agreement, and noun phrases recur across the essay.
Proofread each complex sentence for a complete verb and consistent singular-plural forms, particularly in the school-focused paragraph.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent you agree or disagree
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.