The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is true that more and more young people are getting involved in crime, and the best way to address this critical issue is an ongoing debate. There are many ways to prevent youth crime, one of which is better parenting skills; however, those ways need to be carried out simultaneously if they are to be effective.
On the one hand, parents are the people closest to their childrenthe closest people to their children and are the best placed to influencemost likely to be able to have an impact on their children’s behavior. In fact, the vastlarge majority of youth crime todaynowadays is the result of inappropriate parenting and a lackinappropriate parenting, and a lack of supervision and education about crimechildcare and crime education. Therefore, it is reasonabletotally reasonable to say that improving parenting skills can reduce juvenile offendingwill cause a decrease in juvenile offences.
However, education at home alone is not enough since there are many childrena lot of kids who are not willing to listen to their parents. TodayIn this day and age, children spend much of their time at schoolspend the largest amount of time at school, and therefore are more likely to be influenced by teachers and peerstheir teachers or friends. For example, in my home country of Vietnam, many high school students are susceptible to negative peer pressure. This usually leads to increased use of alcohol or drugsthe increasing use of alcohol or drugs, all of which are primary contributors to crime at this age. These facts suggest that we should introduce education intoin the school curriculum about the consequences of committing an offenceabout the consequences one may face when committing an offence, as well as help children manage negative peer pressure.
In conclusion, improving parents’ child-rearing skillsenhancing skills to educate children at home is a good way to curb juvenile delinquencydelinquencies; however, I think there is no single best way to achieve this as different measures need to be taken at the same time.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear, nuanced position and develops a convincing explanation of how schools can complement parental education, with logical progression and a strong range of language. Its main limitation is that the claim about inadequate parenting causing most youth crime is asserted rather than substantiated. The highest-priority improvement is to explain that causal link more carefully and support it with a specific example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question with a clear qualified disagreement and develops relevant arguments about both parenting and school influence.
Develop the parenting argument with a concrete explanation or example instead of relying on a broad causal assertion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices generally make the relationship between the two measures clear.
Use more precise referencing in the introduction and avoid formulaic transitions such as an unmatched 'On the one hand'.
Lexical Resource
A varied and generally precise vocabulary supports the discussion, including effective topic language about juvenile offences and peer pressure.
Refine a few awkward collocations, such as 'largest amount of time' and 'juvenile delinquencies', to improve naturalness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence structures is used with strong control, and errors are infrequent and do not impede meaning.
Polish occasional awkward noun phrases and coordination so that the more complex sentences read completely naturally.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.