Many people prefer to read and tell stories to their children and regard it as a good opportunity to establish a stronger parent-child relationship. Others, however, think that parents do not need to do that and children should read books, watch TV and movies by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
People have different views on whether parents should read or tell stories to children. From my point of view, this practice is more beneficial to children, although the opposite view does have some advantages.
It is undeniable that letting children read books by themselves would cultivate their independence. As they can explore the world of books by themselves, there is no restriction on their thinkingrestriction to their mind. Children can develop the ability to think independentlybuild up the ability of independent thinking in this way. Besides, broader informationmore broaden information is available to children through this practiceavailable for children by this practice. Books, movies and TV programmesBooks, movies, TV provide varied informationhave various information and some of it is valuable knowledgesome of them are very valuable knowledge. It is a good way for children to acquireaccumulate this knowledge through entertaining mediawith entertainment ways as they won't feel under any pressurefeel any pressure on it.
Despite above argument, parents sharing or reading stories with their childrenthe way of sharing or reading stories to children by their parents has more significantdistinctive benefits. Parents can strengthenenhance the relationship with their children. For example, the time spent on reading stories together is memorable and meaningful to both parents and children and they can have an open discussion or informalfree chat with each other. Another benefit is that parents can provide appropriate guidancean appropriate guidance to their children so as to keep them away from negative materialsome negative materials that is widespread in the mediawhich are overwhelming in the media nowadays. It is essential for children to grow up with their parents' guidance.
To sum up, reading stories to children can strengthen the bondenhance the intimacy between parents and children as well as provide appropriate guidanceprovide some proper guidance, although letting children read by themselves can help them to develop their independencebuild up their independence and acquire knowledge from various sourcesacquire various knowledge from different channels.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response addresses both views, states a clear preference, and uses a straightforward paragraph structure to keep the argument easy to follow. Its main limitation is that several supporting points remain general and are expressed through recurring awkward collocations and article or noun-form errors. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each view with a more specific explanation or example while revising phrases for natural, precise English.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are discussed and the writer's preference is clear throughout, although some supporting ideas are general or only briefly explained.
Extend the independence argument with a concrete example and explain more precisely how independent media use builds judgement rather than merely supplying information.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure is logical and progression is clear, although some linking expressions are mechanical or inaccurately formed.
Use more natural transitions between claims and make the internal progression of each body paragraph less list-like.
Lexical Resource
The response shows enough range to discuss independence, knowledge, intimacy, and guidance, but frequent collocational and word-form errors reduce precision.
Revise combinations such as more broaden information, various knowledge, and entertainment ways into natural noun phrases and collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates the argument clearly, but recurring errors with articles, countability, agreement, and sentence construction are noticeable.
Focus proofreading on uncountable nouns and articles, then simplify sentences whose grammatical structure becomes awkward.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people prefer to read and tell stories to their children and regard it as a good opportunity to establish a stronger parent-child relationship. Others, however, think that parents do not need to do that and children should read books, watch TV and movies by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.