Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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Sample Response
Some would say that parents should teach their childrenoffspring how to be good members of society, while others are of the opinion that schools are best suited to this roleschool is the best in this regard. This essay agrees with the latter point and will show that, despite the practical experiences that parents give their children, school lessons can providegive deep insights into what it takes to be good citizens.
Some believe that parents can educate their children about being good members of society based on their life experiences. This is because the life experiences that parents can give their children are straightforward, down-to-earth, and so they can easily apply what their parents teach them in real lifeapply what their parents teach them in reality. For example, many children in Thailand become more polite, honest, and caring towards otherscaring to everyone as a direct result of the practical lessons that their parents give them at home. However, I believe that parents are now often too busyparents now are so busy and do not spend much time teaching their childrenwith their children teaching them.
Lessons at school can provide children with valuable insights into being good members of society. In class, students can receive lessons about different traits of a truly good person that society needs, and then they put what they learn into practice by creating real-life problems and solving them together. For instance, after receiving lessons in civic education at school, many Vietnamese students are more willing to help their neighbors and even strangers, and they feel extremely happy after doing something good for others. For this reason, I believe that school lessons have more influence on young childrenschool lessons are more influential to young children.
In conclusion, despite the practical experiences that parents can give their children at home, I believethis essay believes that school lessons can help students deepen their understanding of being good members of society.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response clearly discusses both perspectives, sustains its preference for school-based learning, and uses a well-controlled four-paragraph structure with relevant examples. Its main limitation is that some support remains generalized or assumed, particularly the claim that busy parents are less effective, while repeated wording reduces precision. The highest-priority improvement is to deepen the comparison by explaining why structured civic education produces outcomes that parental example alone may not consistently achieve.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are directly addressed, the writer's preference is consistent, and each position receives relevant explanation and illustration.
Deepen the evaluation by showing more explicitly why school instruction is more consistently effective than parental example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised, with clear paragraph purposes and smooth progression from the two views to a consistent conclusion.
Reduce repeated framing around lessons and life experiences to make the movement between supporting points even more economical.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied and generally precise, though repeated task language and a few awkward combinations limit full flexibility.
Vary recurring phrases such as good members of society and use more natural collocations, including influential for or influential in shaping children.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of simple and complex structures is handled with strong control, and the few awkward constructions do not impede meaning.
Refine occasional ambiguous modifiers and word order, especially where a final phrase could appear to modify the wrong noun.