When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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Sample Response
As the sight of burgeoning new residential areas is becoming more and more common, there inherently emerges a host of dilemmas, the most thorny of which is town planning. Thus, town planners are still considering whether the construction of public parks and sports facilities or business districts and shopping malls should be given priority. It seems to me that shopping centers are just as important as parks and gyms for a town’s infrastructure.
There is no denying that the development of public parks and sporting facilities bringsbring about immense benefits for the well-being of the community. Firstly, they provide suitable spaces and equipment for people to exercise. For instance, city inhabitants have more opportunities to participate in different sportspractice different sports and physical activities like going jogging in a parkthe natural park and playing tennis or basketball at a sports facilitythe sports stadium. These activities have limited their sedentary lifestyle, substantially benefited local residents' health as well as elevated their mood during the day. Furthermore, parks and sports facilities are ideal destinations for residents to socialise with their next-door-neighbours. People can connect with others when they are playing sports or talking casually with passers-by in the park. A harmonious relationship between inhabitants is the foundation for establishinga foundation to establish a caring and friendly community.
Although parks and gyms provide town dwellers with many benefitsprovide the town dwellers all kinds of benefits, the benefits of shopping malls for the districtadvantages of shopping malls to the district are not to be disregarded. Firstly, a shopping center could make shopping more convenient for local citizens. It would enable them to easily purchase products and services in town and transport them home with less effort and at a lower cost. They would not need to spend extra money on transportation or having goods deliveredshipping of the goods. Secondly, a shopping mall can provide job opportunities for residents. They can findattain work in retail, maintenance, or security of the mall, hence earning an income to support their families.
To conclude, although parks and sports facilities serve as places for exercise and social activities for city dwellers, I believe that shopping centers are equally important because they can provide employment and convenience to the town residents.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear, consistent disagreement and develops a well-balanced comparison of the community benefits of recreational facilities with the practical value of shopping centres. Its main limitation is occasional imprecision in collocation and verb use, which slightly reduces the polish of otherwise fluent writing. The highest-priority improvement is to revise awkward expressions and ensure that every supporting point is tied explicitly to the planning priority in the question.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the question with a consistent position and develops substantial, relevant support for both types of facility.
Link the convenience and employment arguments more explicitly to why shopping centres deserve equal priority in new-town planning.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically from its position through two well-organised main arguments to a concise conclusion, with clear paragraph focus.
Vary the sequencing language within body paragraphs to make the already clear progression feel less formulaic.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a broad topic-specific range, though several collocations and lexical choices are awkward or imprecise.
Revise expressions such as limit a sedentary lifestyle and attain work into more natural collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex structures is used effectively, but occasional agreement, tense, and complement errors reduce accuracy.
Proofread complex sentences for subject-verb agreement, consistent tense, and required prepositions after verbs such as provide.