Some people think that employers should focus on the personal qualities of potential job seekers instead of their academic qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Some people point out that employers ought to put emphasis on the personal attributes of prospective job candidates rather than their academic credentials and experience. I strongly disagree with this view and believe that academic qualifications and experience suggest that the candidates have job-specific skills and knowledge.
Academic qualifications refer to the evidence that a candidate has knowledge and competence in a particular field of study. This means that the job seeker has attained a foundational comprehension of the subject matter, and has acquired necessary skills through assignments, coursework and exams. This suggests that the individual possesses the knowledge and skills to perform well in the role. A software development firm seeking to appoint a programmer, for instance, may put more focus on a job applicant with a computer science degree. The degree demonstrates the fact that the candidate has acquired a certain level of programming languages, algorithms and competencies required for the job.
Likewise, individuals gain experience through internships, and part-time or full-time jobs, allowing them to apply their academic knowledge in real-world settings. People, in fact, develop practical competencies, problem-solving skills and a comprehension of workplace dynamics through experience. Therefore, an experienced candidate has more practical ability, knowledge and skills than his counterparts. For example, in the field of software development, a company recruiting developers may prioritize job applicants who possess relevant coding experience. The experience indicates their practical knowledge of how to carry out coding projects.
In conclusion, I believe that academic credentials and practical experience are important when it comes to hiring a candidate for a job because academic qualifications prove that the candidates have a certain level of knowledge and skills pertinent to the job, while experience showcases their ability to apply theoretical knowledge in real-world settings.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the standard collocation Original: put Suggested revision: place Why it matters: 'Place emphasis on' is the conventional formal collocation.
- 2. Use a natural learning phrase Original: attained a foundational comprehension Suggested revision: developed a foundational understanding Why it matters: Understanding is naturally described as something a learner develops.
- 3. Remove the internal comma Original: subject matter, and Suggested revision: subject matter and Why it matters: The two verbs share the same subject, so no comma is needed before 'and'.
- 4. Add the definite article Original: acquired necessary skills Suggested revision: acquired the necessary skills Why it matters: The sentence refers to the specific skills required by the field.
- 5. Use a natural verb phrase Original: put more focus on Suggested revision: focus more on Why it matters: The revised verb phrase is more concise and idiomatic.
- 6. Remove the list comma Original: internships, and part-time Suggested revision: internships and part-time Why it matters: No comma should separate the first two coordinated sources of experience.
- 7. Use a natural noun Original: a comprehension of workplace dynamics Suggested revision: an understanding of workplace dynamics Why it matters: 'Understanding' is the more idiomatic noun in this context.
- 8. Refer to the example clearly Original: The experience indicates Suggested revision: This experience demonstrates Why it matters: The demonstrative reference links the statement directly to the coding experience just mentioned.
- 9. Use the hiring verb Original: appoint Suggested revision: hire Why it matters: 'Hire' states the employment action more directly in this context.
- 10. Place the linker first Original: People, in fact, develop Suggested revision: In fact, people develop Why it matters: Moving the linker to the sentence opening creates a smoother transition.
- 11. Use a direct verb Original: recruiting Suggested revision: hiring Why it matters: 'Hiring' is more direct when the company is selecting people for jobs.
- 12. Use a concise noun phrase Original: job applicants who possess relevant coding experience Suggested revision: applicants with relevant coding experience Why it matters: The replacement conveys the same meaning more concisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- put place
- attained a foundational comprehension developed a foundational understanding
- subject matter, and subject matter and
- acquired necessary skills acquired the necessary skills
- put more focus on focus more on
- internships, and part-time internships and part-time
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear, well-supported case that qualifications establish foundational expertise while experience demonstrates practical application, illustrated consistently through software-development examples. Its main limitation is repetition of the same vocabulary and limited direct evaluation of when personal qualities might matter; the highest-priority improvement is to weigh those qualities briefly against technical evidence and explain why the latter should remain decisive.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response maintains a clear position and develops two relevant, well-supported reasons for prioritising qualifications and experience.
Acknowledge one genuine value of personal qualities and explain why it remains secondary to demonstrable expertise and experience.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organised into focused sections on qualifications and experience, with clear progression and effective examples.
Reduce repeated restatement of knowledge and skills so each sentence advances the argument rather than echoing the previous one.
Lexical Resource
A sufficient range of formal employment and education vocabulary is used accurately overall, though repetition and several awkward combinations limit flexibility.
Vary recurring terms carefully and replace phrases such as “a level of programming languages” with precise expressions such as “proficiency in programming languages.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex structures is used accurately, and the few minor punctuation or reference issues do not affect clarity.
Refine comma placement and pronoun reference in long sentences to make the already strong grammatical control more economical.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that employers should focus on the personal qualities of potential job seekers instead of their academic qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.