Some people think that employers should focus on the personal qualities of potential job seekers instead of their academic qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Some suggest that employers should prioritise personal qualities over academic qualifications and experience when hiring someone. Personally, I do not agree with hiring someone solely based on personal quality and soft skills as it can negatively impact job performance and workplace dynamics.
To begin with, academic qualifications and experience provide a foundation of knowledge and technical skills that are indispensable for many positions. Formal education ensures that candidates possess the theoretical understanding necessary for their roles, while experience demonstrates their ability to apply this knowledge in practical settings. For example, in fields such as engineering, medicine, and law, specialised training and a track record of relevant experience are crucial for ensuring competence and adherence to professional standards. Without these qualifications, the risk of errors and inefficiency increases, potentially leading to serious consequences.
Moreover, hiring someone solely based on personal qualities may decrease output and negatively affect workplace dynamics because it can lead to a mismatch between the individual's capabilities and the technical demands of the job. Personal attributes like charisma and communication skills are important, but without the requisite knowledge and technical proficiency, an employee may struggle to perform essential tasks efficiently. For example, in a software development company, hiring a candidate solely for their teamwork and problem-solving abilities without considering their coding skills could result in subpar project outcomes and increased workload for other team members who must compensate for the skill gap.
In conclusion, while personal qualities are important, they should not overshadow the value of academic qualifications and experience when hiring someone. Therefore, I disagree with the idea that hiring someone should be based on personal qualities.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the plural noun Original: quality Suggested revision: qualities Why it matters: “Qualities” should be plural because the phrase refers to a set of attributes.
- 2. Clarify the reference Original: as it can negatively impact Suggested revision: because this approach can negatively affect Why it matters: Naming the approach removes the potentially unclear pronoun reference.
- 3. Improve the collocation Original: of Suggested revision: in Why it matters: “A foundation in” is the more natural pattern for fields of knowledge and skill.
- 4. Clarify the pronoun Original: their ability to apply this knowledge Suggested revision: candidates’ ability to apply this knowledge Why it matters: Repeating the noun makes the reference unmistakable after the singular subject “experience.”
- 5. Use precise wording Original: decrease output Suggested revision: reduce productivity Why it matters: “Reduce productivity” is a more natural expression for poorer workplace performance.
- 6. Use formal exemplification Original: Personal attributes like charisma Suggested revision: Personal attributes such as charisma Why it matters: “Such as” gives the example a more formal academic tone.
- 7. Fix the preposition Original: in Suggested revision: at Why it matters: “At” is the natural preposition when referring to employment within a company.
- 8. Strengthen parallel wording Original: subpar project outcomes and increased workload Suggested revision: subpar project outcomes and heavier workloads Why it matters: The revised phrase expresses the burden on multiple team members more naturally.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: Therefore, I disagree with the idea that hiring someone should be based on personal qualities. Suggested revision: Therefore, I disagree that employers should base hiring decisions on personal qualities alone. Why it matters: The direct construction is more concise and keeps the intended position clear.
- 10. Clarify the sequence Suggested revision: Present the role of qualifications and the role of experience in a clearly signposted sequence before moving to the cross-profession example. Why it matters: Separating the two forms of preparation would make the paragraph’s progression easier to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- quality qualities
- as it can negatively impact because this approach can negatively affect
- of in
- their ability to apply this knowledge candidates’ ability to apply this knowledge
- decrease output reduce productivity
- Personal attributes like charisma Personal attributes such as charisma
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay is clear, logically organised, and supported by relevant professional examples, with strong control of vocabulary and complex grammar. Its main limitation is that it repeatedly recasts giving personal qualities greater priority as hiring solely on that basis, which narrows the proposition and leaves the comparative issue less fully examined. The priority is to evaluate the relative weight of qualities, qualifications, and experience directly rather than arguing mainly against an absolute version of the claim.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear disagreement is sustained and well supported, but the argument partly narrows the prompt's comparative claim into an absolute hiring policy.
Address how employers should balance personal qualities against qualifications and experience, instead of focusing mainly on hiring solely by personality.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear paragraph structure and develops each reason in a logical sequence with well-managed cohesion.
Differentiate the two body paragraphs more sharply so that each advances a distinct aspect of the position.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and precise for employment and professional contexts, with only occasional awkward choices such as "decrease output."
Use more natural collocations, for example "reduce productivity," and keep singular and plural forms consistent.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, and minor errors are rare and non-impeding.
Polish agreement and noun-form details in phrases such as "personal quality and soft skills" to achieve greater consistency.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that employers should focus on the personal qualities of potential job seekers instead of their academic qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.