Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy for them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?
Sample Response
The topic of whether keeping pets is beneficial or detrimental to children has long been a subject of debate. While some argue that having pets can bring numerous advantages to a child's life, others express concerns about the potential risks and negative impacts. This essay will explore both perspectives and provide an opinion that allowing children to have pets have significant benefits.
There are several reasons why keeping pets can be advantageous for children. Firstly, having a pet can teach children important life skills, such as responsibility and empathy. Caring for a living creature requires consistent feeding, grooming, and attention, instilling a sense of duty and compassion in children. For instance, a child responsible for walking and feeding a dog learns to prioritize the needs of another living being. Pets can also provide emotional support and companionship. Many children develop strong bonds with their pets, confiding in them and finding solace in their presence. The unconditional love and loyalty of a pet can enhance a child's emotional well-being and help them navigate through challenging times.
While there are benefits, it is important to consider the potential risks associated with keeping pets. One concern is the risk of allergies and infections. Some children may be allergic to pet dander, which can lead to respiratory issues and discomfort. Additionally, pets can transmit certain diseases or parasites if proper hygiene practices are not maintained. For example, contact with animal faeces can result in the transmission of parasites like roundworms. Furthermore, there is a concern about the potential for accidents or injuries involving pets. Young children may unknowingly provoke or mishandle animals, leading to bites, scratches, or falls.
In my opinion, the benefits of keeping pets for children are substantial. Pets offer companionship, emotional support, and opportunities for learning valuable life skills.
In conclusion, by promoting responsible pet ownership and implementing appropriate safety measures, the potential risks can be minimized, allowing children to enjoy the numerous advantages that come with keeping pets.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise wording Original: negative impacts Suggested revision: adverse effects Why it matters: “Adverse effects” is a more concise formal expression in this context.
- 2. Use concise sequencing Original: Firstly Suggested revision: First Why it matters: “First” is a cleaner sequencing marker when no “secondly” follows.
- 3. Use natural collocation Original: consistent Suggested revision: regular Why it matters: “Regular feeding” is the more natural collocation for routine pet care.
- 4. Remove redundant preposition Original: navigate through challenging times Suggested revision: navigate challenging times Why it matters: “Navigate” can take the situation directly, making “through” unnecessary here.
- 5. Strengthen the contrast Original: While there are benefits Suggested revision: Despite these benefits Why it matters: This linker refers back more explicitly to the advantages discussed in the preceding paragraph.
- 6. Use concise condition Original: if proper hygiene practices are not maintained Suggested revision: without proper hygiene practices Why it matters: The shorter prepositional phrase states the same condition more directly.
- 7. Use formal example marker Original: like roundworms Suggested revision: such as roundworms Why it matters: “Such as” is the more formal choice for introducing a specific example.
- 8. Reduce wordiness Original: potential for accidents or injuries involving pets Suggested revision: risk of pet-related accidents or injuries Why it matters: The revision conveys the same idea more concisely and precisely.
- 9. Keep the reference general Original: a child's life Suggested revision: children's lives Why it matters: The plural form maintains the essay’s general focus on children rather than one child.
- 10. Use precise wording Original: issues Suggested revision: problems Why it matters: “Problems” is clearer and less vague than the general-purpose word “issues.”
- 11. Make the example concise Original: contact with animal faeces can result in the transmission of parasites Suggested revision: contact with animal faeces can lead to parasitic infections Why it matters: The revision expresses the health consequence more directly and avoids nominalization.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: This essay will explore both perspectives and provide an opinion that allowing children to have pets have significant benefits. Suggested revision: This essay will explore both perspectives and argue that allowing children to have pets has significant benefits. Why it matters: The rewrite corrects the subject–verb agreement error and expresses the writer’s position naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- negative impacts adverse effects
- Firstly First
- consistent regular
- navigate through challenging times navigate challenging times
- While there are benefits Despite these benefits
- if proper hygiene practices are not maintained without proper hygiene practices
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay gives a balanced, well-developed discussion of benefits and risks, maintains a clear favourable position, and uses varied, precise language with strong control. Its main weakness is that the personal evaluation is stated rather briefly after the two-sided discussion; the highest-priority improvement is to explain more explicitly why the benefits outweigh the risks, linking that judgment to the proposed safety measures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are explored with relevant, well-developed support, and the writer's favourable opinion remains clear throughout.
Strengthen the evaluation by explicitly explaining why responsible ownership makes the benefits outweigh the identified risks.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically sequenced, clearly paragraph-based, and smoothly connected without conspicuous overuse of linking language.
Integrate the brief opinion paragraph more fully with the conclusion to create an even more unified ending.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and natural, with effective topic-specific choices used flexibly across the response.
Continue refining small repetitions of words such as 'potential' and 'concern' to make expression still more varied.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence forms is controlled accurately, with only a rare agreement error that does not impede meaning.
Check subject-verb agreement in complex noun clauses, especially constructions such as 'allowing children to have pets has'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy for them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.