Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?
Sample Response
As technology improves, it has come alongit came along with some issues that can cause remarkable changes to thechangings on environment. Facilities around the world pollute more and more every single year and of course there are crucial changes to habitatschangings on habitat.
There are several typestype of pollution such as air, water or even sound (have you ever tried to sleep in the apartment located onapartmant that located at a busy street). As technology grows, we humans haveus people has more opportunityoppurtunity to produce, consume, and leave a trash behind more and more compared to early 1900 (before the industrial revolutionrevulation) And all these things come with consequencesconsuquences. In production, water takes an important role. Its crucial for coloring, cooking, cleaning even testing medicines before it takes place in shelvesshelfs, pharmacies. Moreover, to get rid of chemical products, we are again usingwe again using water (or even pouring our dirts into rivers, lakes and seas)
It may seem like pouring a glass of a water to a huge ocean, but for sea ecosystem, every single drop of chemical, radioactive remnantsremeanings matter a lot. Those creatures aren't evolved to continue living normallymaintain leaving properly, or staying alive with those environment had affected by our poor knowledge. That may also cause water ecosystems to lose their diversity of animals, plants and even microbes and as well as in long term other ecosystems that partly involved with water.
Also some cultures are dependentdepended on water. Their economic growth depend on fishing, tourism on beach life or even more producing sustainable energy from waves kinetic potential or algies (a creature lives in the sea). Human society will be affectedeffected by their habits changing because of the pollution, and they may even feel depression since its their normal from their roots.
Therefore, it is importantSo its important to look after seas. Its important to take steps to enable more volumes of water wasted over something that we could change.1
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by identifying industrial causes of water pollution and discussing its consequences on both marine ecosystems and human communities. However, the progression of ideas is occasionally disrupted by informal phrasing and frequent errors in spelling and grammar. To improve, the candidate should focus on academic register and systematic proofreading to eliminate basic grammatical and lexical mistakes.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, outlining causes such as industrial waste and detailing effects on both marine life and human societies.
Ensure all supporting examples are highly relevant and avoid conversational tangents, such as rhetorical questions about sleeping in apartments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is organized into paragraphs with a generally logical progression, though transitions between some ideas feel slightly abrupt.
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transition signals to connect paragraphs and sentences more smoothly.
Lexical Resource
While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main ideas, there are frequent errors in spelling and word formation, such as 'changings', 'oppurtunity', and 'remeanings'.
Focus on learning correct spelling patterns and the proper collocations of common academic words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but grammatical errors in subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and passive voice are frequent.
Review core grammatical structures, particularly subject-verb agreement and the correct formation of passive verb tenses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.