Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?
Sample Response
An essential element of the ecosystem is water. Water pollution occurs when harmful chemicals or microorganisms are released into water bodies, which degradesresults in the degradation of animals' and humans' quality of lifeanimal and human’s life quality.
The most common cause of water pollution is the direct disposal of industrial and human waste into surface waterinto the surface water. Another reason worth mentioning is oil spillsthe oil spill.Since the dawn of industrialization, numerous factories have been discharging toxic chemical compounds such as metallic sulfides or cyanides. When introducedWhen being introduced into lakes, rivers, and seas, these toxic wastes poison freshwater or saltwater animals and plants, and subsequently destroysubsequently destroy the ecosystem. Even when industrial wastethe industrial waste is buried in the ground, itthey can still permeate the soil to pollute the underground water, thus beginningbegin the pollution process againthe process again.
Another cause of water pollution is human waste. Various kinds of pathogenic bacteria live in human feces, and they may cause gastrointestinal infectionsinfection if they appear in the water supply. Oil spills are also a cause of marine pollutionthe reason for sea pollution. Most marine animalsMost of the marine animals cannot digest oil, or remove spilled oilcleanse the spilling oil fromon their feathers. Therefore, they will die soon unless there are human interventioninterventions. The spill also adversely affectsaffect seawater, thereby damagingwhich damages the tourist industry of coastal regions.
To summarize, water pollution is mostly the result of oil spills and industrial or human waste disposal. It severely harmsaffects the environment and subsequently the lives of animals and humansthe life of animals and human.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response clearly identifies several relevant causes and traces credible consequences for wildlife, health, and coastal economies, with a logical overall structure. Its main limitation is that some points are compressed and the response falls slightly below the required length, while recurring grammatical inaccuracies reduce polish. The highest-priority improvement is to develop the societal effects more fully and proofread agreement, reference, and clause structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both causes and effects with relevant explanations, though societal impacts receive less development and the essay is slightly under length.
Develop one societal consequence in greater depth and ensure the response comfortably exceeds 250 words.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through causes and consequences, with clear paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Group each cause more consistently with its corresponding effects to avoid some repetition between body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently varied environmental vocabulary conveys precise ideas, despite several awkward collocations and word-form choices.
Use more natural combinations such as quality of life, oil spills, and human intervention, and check singular and plural forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a range of complex structures, but agreement, pronoun reference, and non-finite clause errors recur.
Proofread each complex sentence for subject-verb agreement and ensure participle clauses have a clear, logical subject.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.