The money given to help poor countries does not solve the problem of poverty, so rich countries should give other types of help instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
I fully agree with the given statement as monetary help often failed to improve the condition of poor nations. So other forms of improvement schemes and help could be a better solution to help the poor countries. It is true that donation provided by rich countries has not solved the problem of poverty in the developing country like Bhutan, Afghanistan etc. It is important to understand why rich countries provide money. The reasons behind this are to accelerate development of poor countries by establishing industries, tourism and others pre -requisites. Some of the causes for failure of donation programme are corruption, poor governance, scarcity of skilled population and lack of proper planning. Firstly, corruption is mostly prevalent in the developing countries like Nepal, Congo etc. according to data of the Transparency International. Most importantly, corruption is deeply rooted in almost all fields like health sector, civil service etc. and exists involvement of simple clerks to high-level bureaucrats and politicians. The cause of corruption may be rooted to the lack of handsome salary, lack of severe punishments, selfishness and the slack of rules and laws etc. If money allocated for development projects is misused, then the quality of the projects reduced or it may not be finished in time. In fact, scenarios like these affect the rate of development in the developing countries. Secondly, the sustainable and harmonious development cannot be achieved without effective and efficient administration which is lagging in the poor countries. Succeeding any projects is a daunting task for management committees. At first, the problems arise at the local levels where local people ask for unfeasible demands such as the job for each household, high compensation of lands etc. If these problems are addressed, then, other problems like the strike of employees occur or negligence of contractor occurs. Is it possible to complete projects at the specified time? No, it takes decades to complete the projects or strands in the middle forever. Thirdly, there are problems in formulating plans and policies. Even though they are formulated, the authorities cannot implement in a scientific way. So, funds freeze for next financial year. These are only some instances how money provided by donors is used. Education, expertise support, training, monitoring the development, conducting research, establishing factories are better alternative than giving money to the poor nations and these should be embraced by the rich nations to truly help the poor countries.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use present perfect Original: monetary help often failed Suggested revision: monetary help has often failed Why it matters: The present perfect connects repeated past failures to the current argument.
- 2. Use plural noun Original: donation Suggested revision: donations Why it matters: A plural count noun is needed for aid given on multiple occasions.
- 3. Correct plural example Original: the developing country like Bhutan, Afghanistan etc. Suggested revision: developing countries such as Bhutan and Afghanistan. Why it matters: The noun must be plural because two countries are listed.
- 4. Correct noun phrase Original: causes for failure of donation programme Suggested revision: causes of the failure of donation programmes Why it matters: The revised prepositions and articles form a grammatical noun phrase.
- 5. Use natural collocation Original: scarcity of skilled population Suggested revision: a shortage of skilled workers Why it matters: This is the natural expression for an insufficient supply of qualified people.
- 6. Avoid redundancy Original: corruption is mostly prevalent Suggested revision: corruption is widespread Why it matters: Widespread expresses the intended frequency more directly and naturally.
- 7. Refine examples Original: the developing countries like Nepal, Congo etc. according Suggested revision: developing countries such as Nepal and Congo, according Why it matters: Such as introduces formal examples, while the comma correctly marks the following attribution.
- 8. Remove article Original: the Transparency International Suggested revision: Transparency International Why it matters: This organisation name does not take the definite article.
- 9. Clarify sectors Original: fields like health sector, civil service etc. Suggested revision: fields such as healthcare and the civil service Why it matters: The revision uses parallel and more natural names for the two sectors.
- 10. Repair clause structure Original: and exists involvement of simple clerks to high-level bureaucrats and politicians Suggested revision: and involves everyone from junior clerks to high-level bureaucrats and politicians Why it matters: The replacement supplies a grammatical verb and the correct from-to range.
- 11. Correct preposition Original: to Suggested revision: in Why it matters: Rooted in is the standard collocation for describing an underlying cause.
- 12. Use precise wording Original: lack of handsome salary Suggested revision: low salaries Why it matters: Handsome salary is unnatural here, while low salaries states the intended cause clearly.
Suggested Rewrites
- monetary help often failed monetary help has often failed
- donation donations
- the developing country like Bhutan, Afghanistan etc. developing countries such as Bhutan and Afghanistan.
- causes for failure of donation programme causes of the failure of donation programmes
- scarcity of skilled population a shortage of skilled workers
- corruption is mostly prevalent corruption is widespread
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and supports it with a sustained explanation of why financial aid can fail, using several relevant causes and consequences. Its main limitation is that the proposed alternatives are only listed at the end, while frequent awkward constructions and the absence of paragraph breaks reduce clarity. The highest priority is to develop one or two alternative forms of assistance in a clearly separated body paragraph.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a clear agreement position and develops relevant reasons why financial aid may fail, but gives limited development to the proposed alternatives.
Explain how one or two specific forms of non-monetary assistance would address the identified causes of poverty.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically through several causes and uses clear sequencing, though presenting the entire response as one block weakens organisation.
Separate the introduction, main causes, proposed alternatives, and conclusion into purposeful paragraphs with smoother links between ideas.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, but recurring awkward collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Replace unnatural combinations such as references to salaries, laws, and project management with more idiomatic, context-specific phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the argument clearly, although article, agreement, plural, and clause-construction errors recur.
Edit each sentence for article use and subject-verb agreement, especially in complex sentences describing causes and consequences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The money given to help poor countries does not solve the problem of poverty, so rich countries should give other types of help instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.