More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.
Sample Response
UseUsages of private vehicles as the main means of transportationtransportation media is widespread and has grown considerablyis rife and has grown abundantly among citizens. This reliance on private cars, somehow, can cause several problemstrigger several impacts, for instanceinstances, increasing traffic congestionjam and worseningelevating air pollution. These problems will be elaborated through the following paragraphs.
Traffic congestion is an effectTraffic jam is considered as the impact of an imbalanced capacity of roads towards the number of cars and other means of transportation. As vehicle and other commuter lines grow significantly, moreover, when people tend to use their personal cars which obviously increase the quantity of vehicle on road, the road cannot provide fair space to allow all cars running smoothly. As a result, people have to experience traffic congestionencounter the traffic jam.
In addition to traffic congestionDespite traffic jam, air pollution also is a common consequence of increased car usebecomes classic problem of car growth. The higher the number of cars in userate of cars operated, the higher the volume of exhaust fumesamount of residual fume produced by motor activities. This phenomenon can elevate the amount of CO2 in the air which is a major contributor to air pollutioncontributes major pollutant in the air pollution and damages people's healthand damage people’s health.
In my viewIn my point of view, one of the solutions to this traffic issuesolutions dealing with this traffic issue is by increasing taxes on private cars and motorcyclestax payment for private cars and motorcycle. Imposing high tax for private vehicle users will influence their decision to use their carsaffect their judgment in using their cars as they have to spend extra money to run their own vehicles. Whitehorse city, for example, has managed to give higher tax for personal car users and as the fact, citizen there prefer using public buses than private cars due to less cost paid for public bus transport.
All in all, reliance on private cars can worsenimprove traffic problems and pollution. Nevertheless, by implementing discretion of higher tax for personal car user, it can help coping with this problem.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the task, identifying congestion and pollution and proposing higher vehicle taxes with an illustrative example. Its main limitation is the high frequency of inaccurate grammar and word combinations, which repeatedly makes otherwise logical explanations awkward; the priority is to rewrite claims in simpler, correctly formed sentences and use precise transport vocabulary before attempting more elaborate expressions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay covers two relevant problems and one plausible solution, with generally sufficient explanation and an example.
Clarify how the proposed tax would reduce both congestion and pollution, and ensure the conclusion accurately states that car dependence worsens these problems.
Coherence and Cohesion
The problem–solution structure and paragraphing are clear, but some connections within long sentences are awkward or mechanically signposted.
Build each body paragraph around one concise topic sentence followed by a direct cause-and-effect sequence.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts varied topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate choices such as “transportation media,” “residual fume,” and “implementing discretion” reduce precision.
Use familiar, accurate collocations such as “means of transport,” “exhaust emissions,” and “impose a vehicle tax.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is usually recoverable, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, plurals, prepositions, and clause construction substantially limit grammatical control.
Prioritise accurate simple and compound sentences, checking every subject–verb pair and countable noun before adding subordinate clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.