More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.
Sample Response
Usages of private vehicles as the main transportation media is rife and has grown abundantly among citizens. This reliance on private cars, somehow, can trigger several impacts, for instances, increasing traffic jam and elevating air pollution. These problems will be elaborated through the following paragraphs.
Traffic jam is considered as the impact of an imbalanced capacity of roads towards the number of cars and other means of transportation. As vehicle and other commuter lines grow significantly, moreover, when people tend to use their personal cars which obviously increase the quantity of vehicle on road, the road cannot provide fair space to allow all cars running smoothly. As a result, people have to encounter the traffic jam.
Despite traffic jam, air pollution also becomes classic problem of car growth. The higher the rate of cars operated, the higher the amount of residual fume produced by motor activities. This phenomenon can elevate the amount of CO2 in the air which contributes major pollutant in the air pollution and damage people’s health.
In my point of view, one of the solutions dealing with this traffic issue is by increasing tax payment for private cars and motorcycle. Imposing high tax for private vehicle users will affect their judgment in using their cars as they have to spend extra money to run their own vehicles. Whitehorse city, for example, has managed to give higher tax for personal car users and as the fact, citizen there prefer using public buses than private cars due to less cost paid for public bus transport.
All in all, reliance on private cars can improve traffic problems and pollution. Nevertheless, by implementing discretion of higher tax for personal car user, it can help coping with this problem.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the uncountable noun Original: Usages Suggested revision: Use Why it matters: Use is uncountable when referring generally to the practice.
- 2. Use the standard term Original: transportation media Suggested revision: means of transportation Why it matters: Media does not mean modes of travel in this context.
- 3. Use natural collocations Original: is rife and has grown abundantly Suggested revision: is widespread and has grown considerably Why it matters: Rife and abundantly do not combine naturally with vehicle use.
- 4. Name negative effects Original: trigger several impacts Suggested revision: cause several problems Why it matters: Trigger impacts is an unnatural collocation and obscures the negative meaning.
- 5. Use the singular phrase Original: instances Suggested revision: instance Why it matters: For instance is a fixed expression and does not take a plural noun.
- 6. Use an uncountable term Original: jam Suggested revision: congestion Why it matters: Traffic congestion is the natural uncountable expression for this general problem.
- 7. Use the correct collocation Original: elevating Suggested revision: worsening Why it matters: Pollution worsens or increases rather than elevates.
- 8. Use a direct cause Original: Traffic jam is considered as the impact Suggested revision: Traffic congestion is an effect Why it matters: Consider is not followed by as here, and effect is more suitable than impact.
- 9. Use natural wording Original: encounter the traffic jam Suggested revision: experience traffic congestion Why it matters: People experience traffic congestion rather than encounter the traffic jam.
- 10. Add another problem Original: Despite traffic jam Suggested revision: In addition to traffic congestion Why it matters: Despite signals concession, but this paragraph introduces an additional problem.
- 11. Fix article and phrasing Original: becomes classic problem of car growth Suggested revision: is a common consequence of increased car use Why it matters: The original phrase lacks an article and uses unnatural collocations.
- 12. Refer to cars in use Original: rate of cars operated Suggested revision: number of cars in use Why it matters: Cars are counted by number rather than by a rate operated.
Suggested Rewrites
- Usages Use
- transportation media means of transportation
- is rife and has grown abundantly is widespread and has grown considerably
- trigger several impacts cause several problems
- instances instance
- jam congestion
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the task, identifying congestion and pollution and proposing higher vehicle taxes with an illustrative example. Its main limitation is the high frequency of inaccurate grammar and word combinations, which repeatedly makes otherwise logical explanations awkward; the priority is to rewrite claims in simpler, correctly formed sentences and use precise transport vocabulary before attempting more elaborate expressions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay covers two relevant problems and one plausible solution, with generally sufficient explanation and an example.
Clarify how the proposed tax would reduce both congestion and pollution, and ensure the conclusion accurately states that car dependence worsens these problems.
Coherence and Cohesion
The problem–solution structure and paragraphing are clear, but some connections within long sentences are awkward or mechanically signposted.
Build each body paragraph around one concise topic sentence followed by a direct cause-and-effect sequence.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts varied topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate choices such as “transportation media,” “residual fume,” and “implementing discretion” reduce precision.
Use familiar, accurate collocations such as “means of transport,” “exhaust emissions,” and “impose a vehicle tax.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is usually recoverable, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, plurals, prepositions, and clause construction substantially limit grammatical control.
Prioritise accurate simple and compound sentences, checking every subject–verb pair and countable noun before adding subordinate clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.
Your response
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