More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.
Sample Response
Nowadays, the usage of own means of transport is very common in the modern societies. It creates the problem of traffic congestion and pollution all over the world. However, the use of public transport is one of the possible solutions to deal with this issue.
Firstly, overuse of private cars leads to traffic congestion. Every person has their own car, which means creating a lot of traffic. For instance, in metro cities, it is often seen that there is traffic jam more than an hour and people are blowing the horns, thus worsening the situation. Ultimately, all this cause frustration and stress for the people who cannot reach at their workplaces in due time. Moreover, the sound and environmental pollutions are increasing.
Secondly, more motor vehicles mean more pollution. The harmful gases exhausted from the vehicle results in air pollution and leads to various health problems. For example respiratory diseases such as asthma, bronchitis and so on. Moreover, ozone layer depletion as a consequence of pollution can cause skin problems.
The possible solution to these problems is to maximise the use of public transport. The government should aware the people to use public transport and put emphasis to legally control the private transportation. Furthermore, the use of public transport also saves the expenditure which we spend on buying own means of transportation.
To conclude, traffic congestion and pollution are the arising problems of extensive use of private means of transportation. Nevertheless, the use of public transport is the one way to resolve the problems. Both Government and individual should come forward to tackle this issue and make their place better to live.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural terminology Original: the usage of own means of transport Suggested revision: the use of private transport Why it matters: “Private transport” is the natural general term, and “use” is more concise than “usage.”
- 2. Remove the article Original: in the modern societies Suggested revision: in modern societies Why it matters: A general plural noun phrase does not take the definite article.
- 3. Clarify reference and number Original: It creates the problem of traffic congestion and pollution Suggested revision: This reliance creates the problems of traffic congestion and pollution Why it matters: The revision gives “It” a clear referent and uses a plural complement for the two problems.
- 4. Use concise wording Original: one of the possible solutions Suggested revision: one possible solution Why it matters: The shorter phrase expresses the same meaning more directly.
- 5. Use natural terminology Original: metro Suggested revision: major Why it matters: “Major cities” is the conventional expression in general English.
- 6. Use the correct collocation Original: blowing the horns Suggested revision: sounding their horns Why it matters: Drivers “sound” their horns, and the possessive pronoun identifies whose horns they are.
- 7. Fix subject agreement Original: cause Suggested revision: causes Why it matters: The singular pronoun “this” requires the singular verb “causes.”
- 8. Remove the preposition Original: reach at their workplaces Suggested revision: reach their workplaces Why it matters: “Reach” takes a direct object and does not use “at.”
- 9. Use the intended phrase Original: in due time Suggested revision: on time Why it matters: “On time” means arriving by the required time, whereas “in due time” means eventually.
- 10. Use correct pollution terms Original: the sound and environmental pollutions Suggested revision: noise and air pollution Why it matters: “Pollution” is uncountable here, and “noise” and “air” identify the two intended types.
- 11. Fix word choice and agreement Original: gases exhausted from the vehicle results Suggested revision: gases emitted by vehicles result Why it matters: Vehicles emit gases, and the plural subject “gases” requires “result.”
- 12. Match the plural subject Original: leads Suggested revision: lead Why it matters: The plural subject “gases” requires the plural verb form “lead.”
Suggested Rewrites
- the usage of own means of transport the use of private transport
- in the modern societies in modern societies
- It creates the problem of traffic congestion and pollution This reliance creates the problems of traffic congestion and pollution
- one of the possible solutions one possible solution
- metro major
- blowing the horns sounding their horns
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay addresses both required parts by explaining congestion, stress, noise, air pollution, and health effects before proposing greater public-transport use. Its strongest feature is the clear problem–solution structure, while the main limitation is that the solution remains general and frequent language errors reduce precision. Prioritise explaining how governments would improve services, discourage private-car use, and make the proposed shift practical.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Several relevant problems are explained and a suitable public-transport solution is proposed, but the practical implementation of that solution is underdeveloped.
Explain specific measures such as improving routes and frequency, subsidising fares, and using parking charges or congestion pricing to reduce car use.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically divided into congestion, pollution, solution, and conclusion paragraphs, though connections are sometimes mechanical or repetitive.
Link each problem to its consequence more directly and make the solution paragraph respond explicitly to both congestion and pollution.
Lexical Resource
Adequate transport and pollution vocabulary conveys the main ideas, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce precision.
Use natural phrases such as ‘private vehicles’, ‘traffic jams lasting over an hour’, ‘noise pollution’, ‘vehicle emissions’, and ‘raise public awareness’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of structures is attempted, but agreement, article, number, verb-form, and fragment errors recur while meaning remains generally clear.
Correct forms such as ‘all this causes’, ‘gases emitted by vehicles result’, ‘the government should encourage’, and ‘governments and individuals’.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.