It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
Some would argue that taking risks, both in terms of one’s private life and one’s careerworking career, is advantageous overall. I generally agree with this viewam generally in agreement with this contention due to the potential for advancement and growth.
Firstly, risk-taking can accelerate progress toward one’s career goalsexpedite one’s career goals. Many workers decide early on that they are content with their position in society and therefore often fail to actualize their potential. Others, however, pursue various business venturesattempt various business enterprises and transition from field to field in order to find a good match. Although this may lead to short-term setbacks, in the long termin the long-term such ambitious individuals are far more likely to become very professionally successfulsuccessful in life. Assuming that these risks are taken early in one’s career, there is a strong likelihood that they will eventually benefit the risk-takerprofit the risk-taker in question.
Moreover, an individual who takes risks will also develop more mature personal relationships. In more conservative countries, many young people do not begin to have serious romantic relationships until after university. The result of this is that they are often immature and it can lead to poor and naive choices in terms of marriage and parenting. In contrast, a person who takes risks in their personal life and enters into various relationships throughout high school and university will become a better judge of character. Their risk-takingallegedly risky behavior can then serve as the foundation for personal growth and increased maturity.
In conclusion, taking risks can be a catalyst for tremendous growth and is therefore advisable. The disadvantages of risk-taking can also be mitigated in most contexts by not being inordinately reckless.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is fluent, logically organised, and supported by well-developed examples from both professional and personal life, with precise and flexible language throughout. Its main limitation is that the disadvantages are acknowledged only briefly, so the comparative judgement is less fully demonstrated than the benefits. The highest priority is to examine the strongest drawback in each domain and explicitly show why the corresponding benefit outweighs it.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear comparative position is supported by two well-developed advantages, while the disadvantages receive relatively limited analysis.
Develop the most significant professional and personal drawbacks before explicitly weighing each against the claimed gains.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress smoothly through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the argument without distracting from it.
Make the internal comparison even sharper by linking each acknowledged risk directly to the benefit that outweighs it.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary is used flexibly, with only an occasional slightly awkward collocation.
Refine rare phrases such as profit the risk-taker to ensure every sophisticated expression sounds fully natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and the response contains very few noticeable grammatical errors.
Polish the occasional awkward coordination or modifier so that complex sentences remain consistently elegant and unambiguous.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.