An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation?
Sample Response
Underdeveloped and developing countriesThe underdeveloped and the developing countries have always garnered notoriety for not providing an supportive platformanchoring rostrum to deserving professionalsthe deserving talents owing to which people tend to move tofly towards the developed nations in order to realisestage their potential in a well-facilitated ambience. Further are the problems posed due to this scenario and the possible solutions to mitigate or even halt this processsolutions to mitigate if not totally curb the process.
To begin with, there is an inclination of the people undergoing a recognition-deprivation and brain-drain due to overlooking the virtues of deserving and gifted citizens of the poor countries. There isare a plethora of problems and drastic consequences of such cases. Healthcare professionals that are indispensable to the human race tend to emigrate to other countries offering better conditionsbetter-providing countries. For instance, every seventh doctor in the USA is an Indian, the reason for that, as they say, is the neglectfulcircumventing attitude of the Indian government which then culminates in weaknesses in India's healthcare systemthe paucity and lacuna of the health index of India as compared to the developed ones. In addition to that, teachers, who are the backbone of any nation and shape the foundation of the future of a nation, migrate and settle to the developed nations due to better living conditionsbetter provisions of lifestyle there, again debilitating the baseline of a poor nation. Researchers, scientists and several others likewise, who know their worth and over that, who know they shall be recognised and rewardedpromulgated and aggrandized if they settle in a better country, follow a similar patternthe very similar pattern when it comes to leaving their native nations in order to seek a better livelihood. Hence, making a poor country poorer and the advanced ones even more advanced.
The problem is as evident, too serious to ignore any longervery solemn to overlook anymore. It is high time that the poor nations who are on the verge of being more destitute owing to such malpractices start safeguarding their most valuableprime resource, that is, human resources. Nations first of all have to diligently start managing the funds they get from the World Bank and channel into improvingchannel in the betterment of the amenities and facilities needed to propagate their talented assets and most importantly, start recognizing and rewarding their capabilities. There is a clear lack of research laboratories and due to that, the velocity with which researchers should move forth is somehow not able to match up. Hence, the establishment of the research facilities and scientific equipmentresearch and scientific appurtenances should be accelerated. Secondly, the wages, which is the primary driving force for migration, should be hiked, especially in the cases of teachers, doctors and scientists, etc. so that they are not restricted to live their life frugally, budding a sense of discontentment that in return, shackles their maximum output. Incentives and guerdoning the right and worthy individuals are yet other ways to promote in the people, inertia to move to another place.
In conclusion, there is a pervasive apprehension in everybody when it comes to leaving one’s homeland. It is only due to a detrimental cesspool that leads one to move to a new place. Therefore, if that issue is resolved, assuredly people won’t look to settle somewhere else in the search of rewards.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response offers substantial coverage of both the damage caused by professional emigration and several relevant policy responses, with a clear problem-solution structure. Its main limitation is persistently inflated and inaccurate wording, often combined with overloaded sentences, which weakens precision and sometimes slows comprehension. The highest priority is to express each claim in simpler, idiomatic language and support it with a concise, clearly explained consequence or solution.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both questions with relevant problems and a substantial range of corresponding measures.
Develop fewer solutions more precisely by explaining how each one would reduce the departure of essential professionals.
Coherence and Cohesion
The problem-solution progression is easy to follow, although very long sentences and occasional fragments disrupt the flow within paragraphs.
Divide overloaded sentences into complete units and use referencing more precisely to connect each cause, consequence, and remedy.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates an ambitious range, but frequent strained collocations and misused uncommon words reduce accuracy and naturalness.
Prefer familiar, exact expressions and check that every less common word fits its grammatical and collocational context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex structures is attempted, but recurring problems with sentence boundaries, articles, prepositions, and clause construction weaken control.
Prioritise complete, moderately complex sentences and proofread each one for its subject, verb, articles, and prepositions.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.