Some people think that only staff who worked in a company for a long time should be promoted to a higher position.
Sample Response
We all know that work is essential to lifework is the food of life. There is no doubt that an experienced staff member isthat the experienced staff is far better qualified for promotionqualified to a promotion than the newfresh employee. It is taken for granted that the long-servingservice employee has several strengthspotentials which help him to be promoted rather than a new employeeget a promotion contrary to the new employee. Thus, many companiesThus many companies reward employeesreward the employees who have been with them for a long timefor a long. In my opinion, this is indeed a good idea to motivate employeesfor the motivation of the employee and to improve the companyfor the improvement of the company.
One of the reasons why only experienced employees should be promotedthe only experienced employee should get a promotion is that they know a great deal about their jobs/he knows many things about his/her job. For example, he can tackle any issue related to the scope of his work and can devise effective solutionsimplement good solutions to such problems. Undoubtedly, such an employeesuch employee deserves athe promotion due to his broad knowledge and experience. Another important issue is the employee loyalty totowards the company and that should be rewarded.
Another reason is that the experienced employee can communicate effectivelyelegantly with people from different backgrounds. To illustrate, he is able to interact effectively with everyonedeal with everyone perfectly and this, without a doubt, is because of his extensive work experiencebecause of his long experience in his work. Consequently, he is the only one who can get the promotion.
In conclusion, it cannot be denied that the experienced employee is the only one who deserves the promotion. As stated above, the experienced employee not only knows the tactics of his work but also can perfectly deal with people. Hence, he must be promoted.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay takes a clear position and gives relevant reasons why long-serving employees may deserve promotion, including expertise, loyalty, problem-solving, and communication skills. Its main limitation is that the same claim is repeatedly asserted without considering whether newer employees might outperform experienced colleagues or whether service length alone is sufficient. Prioritise a balanced evaluation of experience against measurable competence, results, and leadership potential, supported by specific workplace examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is supported with several relevant qualities of experienced staff, but development is repetitive and the word only is not critically examined.
Consider a highly capable newer employee and explain why performance and leadership should or should not outweigh length of service.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses through knowledge, loyalty, and communication in clear paragraphs, though the argument circles repeatedly around the same conclusion.
Give each paragraph a distinct evaluative purpose and reserve the final judgement for the conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for promotion and workplace experience, but recurring awkward collocations and repetition limit precision and flexibility.
Use eligible for promotion, long-serving employee, strengths, institutional knowledge, solve problems, and communicate effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of structures is attempted and meaning remains clear, but article, agreement, pronoun, and complement errors recur.
Correct patterns such as staff are, qualified for promotion, such an employee, loyalty to the company, and promoted because of performance.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that only staff who worked in a company for a long time should be promoted to a higher position.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.