Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful to society. Others say that the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
In an era when education is availableIn the era education is available to almost everyone, the question of whether the purpose of education is to be useful to societyin order to useful to the society or achieve personal ambitions has sparked an intense debate. In this age of popular education, education is very good for our whole society. It can help common people become better individualspersons in their daily life. Schools do not only teach students simple book knowledge, but also instill good habits and basic rulestell them some good habit and basic rule. If people go to school and receive an education from a young age, they will act more politelyIf people can go to school and get education from a young age, he will act better and politely in public places. More educated people can make the whole society become more orderly and civilizedlook much nicer and cleaner. Besides, students can learn many different kinds of skillsskill at school. When they finish their studies and grow up, they can usefinish their study and grow up, he can use these simple skills to work. Their hard work can change our society little by little in many waysway. On the other hand, education is important because it helps people fulfill their personal aspirations and goalsrealize their personal dreams and goals. Many young people are not satisfied with their ordinary life, and they hope to have a better future, so they choose to study hard at school every day. Learning basic knowledge givesgive people more new chances in their life. Students who excel academicallystudy well at school can go to better high schools and universities. After graduation, they can find rewarding and well-paying careersgood and easy jobs in societyin the society. A good job can bring people more money and make them live a better and happierhappy life. So it is clear that school education is very helpful for people to achieve their personal goalsschool education very helpful for people to finish their personal life goals. In my opinion, both views are reasonable. Education helps social development and allows people to achieve their personal ambitions. The two goals are closely linked. In conclusion, education benefits both society and individual growth.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay effectively addresses both sides of the debate and presents a clear, balanced personal opinion in the conclusion. However, the overall quality is limited by repetitive, basic vocabulary and noticeable grammatical errors, particularly regarding subject-verb agreement and missing verbs. To improve, focus on refining grammatical accuracy and using a wider, more sophisticated range of vocabulary to express complex ideas precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing societal benefits, personal ambitions, and presenting a clear opinion.
Provide deeper analysis and more specific examples to fully elaborate on how education links societal needs with personal goals.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is logical and progression is clear throughout the essay, though transitions between sentences are somewhat mechanical.
Use a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas more naturally within paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally clear and adequate to convey meaning, but relies on basic phrasing and occasional word choice errors.
Incorporate more varied academic vocabulary and precise collocations related to education and personal development.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence structures are understandable, but frequent grammatical inaccuracies such as missing verbs, noun-number errors, and pronoun mismatches occur.
Proofread carefully to correct basic grammatical errors in singular/plural agreement, verb structures, and pronoun reference.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful to society. Others say that the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.