Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful to society. Others say that the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
In an era when education is availableIn the era education is available to almost everyone, the question of whether the purpose of education is to serve societyin order to useful to the society or achieve personal ambitions has sparked an intense debate. On the one hand, education is highly beneficial to society as a wholevery good for our whole society. It can help common people become better individuals in their daily livesbetter persons in their daily life. Schools do not only teach students theoretical knowledgesimple book knowledge, but also instil good habits in themtell them some good habits and basic rules. If people can go to school and receive an educationget education from a young age, they will behave more politelyact better and politely in public places. More educated people can foster a more orderly and civic-minded societymake the whole society look much nicer and cleaner. Besides, students can learn many different kinds of skills at school. When they complete their studiesfinish their study and grow up, they can use these practical skills in the workplacesimple skills to work. Their hard work can change our society little by little in many ways. On the other hand, education is important because it helps people realize their personal dreams and goals. Many young people are not satisfied with their ordinary liveslife, and they hope to have a better future, so they choose to study hard at school every day. Learning basic knowledge can give people greater opportunities in their livesmore new chances in their life. Students who study well at school can go to better high schools and universities. After graduation, they can find rewarding careers in societygood and easy jobs in the society. A good job can bring people more money and make them live a better and happierhappy life. So it is clear that school education is very helpful for people to achieve their personal goalsfinish their personal life goals. In my opinion, both views are reasonable. Education helps social development and allows people to achieve their personal ambitions. The two goals are closely linked. In conclusion, education benefits both society and individual growth.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay effectively addresses both perspectives of the prompt and presents a clear, logical position on the dual purposes of education. However, the overall impact is constrained by relies on somewhat basic vocabulary and repetitive sentence structures. To raise the quality of your writing, focus on incorporating a wider range of academic vocabulary and varied, complex sentence patterns to express your ideas more precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
You have addressed both sides of the prompt and stated a clear opinion, though some supporting points remain somewhat basic.
Develop your arguments with more detailed examples and deeper analysis of how educational systems balance societal and personal needs.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is organized logically into distinct paragraphs with clear overall progression throughout.
Use a wider variety of cohesive devices and transitions to link ideas smoothly between and within paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Your vocabulary is adequate to convey the main ideas clearly, though it relies heavily on simple, high-frequency phrasing.
Incorporate more precise topic-specific vocabulary and academic collocations while avoiding repetitive terms like 'good' or 'nice'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures with general accuracy, despite occasional grammatical and phrasing errors.
Practice producing complex sentence structures with correct prepositions, articles, and relative clauses to improve accuracy and variety.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful to society. Others say that the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.