The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home to work, shopping and education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Same question Compare 2 different answers

Sample Response

Traffic congestion is perhaps a curse in many cities, and it kills valuable time on the one hand and degrades people's overall productivity and economic progress on the other hand. Since the main reason for traffic gridlocks on the roads is the overwhelming number of people who commute daily, limiting it to a reasonable extent is conceivably the best solution to curb the bad traffic. Though the government and city administration can not ask citizens to stay indoors and arrange the "work from home" facility for every professional, there are ways to implement it without creating confusion and dissatisfaction among citizens and curbing traffic problems at the same time. Since we need to reduce the number of commuters and vehicles on the road, which is the only viable solution to traffic problems, we can sort out the professionals who can work from home and then distribute the facilities like shopping centres, parks and banks to all residential areas so that people can get them within walking distance. For instance, IT professionals, lawyers, bookkeepers, customer service representatives, instructors and similar other professionals do not need to travel to their office daily as they can execute most of their responsibilities from home with the help of technology. This way the road traffic could be reduced to a great extent. Moreover, improving some facilities and digitalising many services can deter people from unnecessary daily commuting. For instance, many parents travel to their children's schools daily to drop them off and pick them up. If schools offer safe and convenient transportation facilities, parents would rely on such facilities rather than travelling daily. Similarly, banking, utility bill payment and help desk should be digitalised so that we can complete our tasks from home rather than visiting those offices. Thus the movement of people would be restricted and the traffic problem would be reduced. To conclude, traffic congestion in many cities is so big a problem that the authority is struggling to keep it under control. A large number of commuters and the vehicles they use are the primary reason for that, and it is expected that the government would facilitate people so that they need to commute less frequently.

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Use measured wording Original: a curse in many cities Suggested revision: a serious problem in many cities Why it matters: The revision keeps the severity while using a more precise academic tone.
  • 2. Use natural collocation Original: kills Suggested revision: wastes Why it matters: Time is conventionally described as being “wasted,” not “killed,” in formal writing.
  • 3. Clarify two effects Original: degrades people's overall productivity and economic progress Suggested revision: reduces people's productivity and hinders economic progress Why it matters: The revised verbs collocate naturally with the two different effects.
  • 4. Remove redundancy Original: traffic gridlocks on the roads Suggested revision: road congestion Why it matters: “Gridlocks” and “on the roads” repeat information already captured by “road congestion.”
  • 5. Clarify pronoun reference Original: limiting it to a reasonable extent Suggested revision: limiting daily commuting to a reasonable extent Why it matters: The explicit noun phrase removes the unclear reference of “it.”
  • 6. Use traffic collocation Original: curb the bad traffic Suggested revision: ease traffic congestion Why it matters: “Ease congestion” is the natural formal expression for reducing traffic.
  • 7. Remove redundant determiner Original: similar other professionals Suggested revision: similar professionals Why it matters: “Similar” already expresses the relationship, so “other” is unnecessary here.
  • 8. Use plural destination Original: office Suggested revision: offices Why it matters: The plural group of professionals generally travels to multiple offices.
  • 9. Use natural work phrase Original: execute most of their responsibilities Suggested revision: perform most of their duties Why it matters: Employees “perform duties” more naturally than they “execute responsibilities.”
  • 10. Add linking punctuation Original: This way the road traffic Suggested revision: In this way, road traffic Why it matters: The revised linker and comma connect the result clearly to the preceding example.
  • 11. State reduction directly Original: deter people from unnecessary daily commuting Suggested revision: reduce unnecessary daily commuting Why it matters: The revision focuses directly on the intended reduction in travel.
  • 12. Use precise service term Original: transportation facilities Suggested revision: transport services Why it matters: Schools offer transport services rather than physical transportation facilities in this context.

Suggested Rewrites

  • a curse in many cities a serious problem in many cities
  • kills wastes
  • degrades people's overall productivity and economic progress reduces people's productivity and hinders economic progress
  • traffic gridlocks on the roads road congestion
  • limiting it to a reasonable extent limiting daily commuting to a reasonable extent
  • curb the bad traffic ease traffic congestion
Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.5

The essay’s strongest feature is its clear, practical case that reducing necessary journeys can cut congestion, supported by remote work, local services, school transport, and digital access. Its main limitation is presentation: the response forms one dense block and occasionally repeats the same commuting claim; the highest-priority improvement is to organise the solutions into focused paragraphs and distinguish reduced travel demand from other traffic-management measures.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

8.0
Scoring rule

The response directly addresses the “only way” claim, maintains a clear position, and develops several relevant mechanisms and examples for reducing travel demand.

Next step

Briefly acknowledge whether any complementary measure could also reduce traffic, then explain why reducing necessary journeys remains the most effective approach.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

Ideas progress logically through remote work, local facilities, school transport, and digital services, but the single-block format and repetition reduce readability.

Next step

Use separate paragraphs for the position, workplace and local-access solutions, digital and school-transport measures, and the conclusion.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

Vocabulary is varied and generally precise for congestion, commuting, services, and technology, with occasional awkward combinations such as “curb the bad traffic.”

Next step

Prefer natural phrases such as “reduce congestion,” “remote-working arrangements,” and “essential services within walking distance.”

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0
Scoring rule

A wide range of complex structures is generally controlled, though some long sentences, agreement choices, and modal shifts reduce precision.

Next step

Shorten the longest sentences and check forms such as “services should be digitalised” and “the authorities are struggling.”

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IELTS Writing Task 2

The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home to work, shopping and education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your response

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40:00

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