There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive and negative development?
Sample Response
In an era when computer technology is developing rapidlydevelops rapidly, the question of whether working and studying at home can bring more benefits has sparked an intense debate. First of all, due to the lack of face-to-face interaction,First of all, the lack of face-to-face interaction, people cannot understand the real meaning and emotion of other people through observing the facial expressionsexpression and body language, so they will have communicationcommunicative barriers, affecting interpersonal relationshipsthe interpersonal relationship. What’s more, it is also not conducive to improvingimprove work efficiency. For example, people in the company engage in casual conversationshave communication about small things beyond work. They can talk about what they ate last night or what they are going to do. It is a good chancechange to build a sound relationship with their colleagues. There is no denying that without good interpersonal relationshipsa good interpersonal relationships, it is impossible for people to complete team work perfectly. On the other hand, there are some benefits about the practice of people working or studying from homeinfluence of people work or study at home. Firstly, people do not need to spend much time on commuting, which can give them more time to pursue personal or productive activitiesdo meaningful things. Furthermore, they can reduceAlso they can reduce the cost of transportation to buy some daily necessities and improve their quality of life. Secondly, the environment of the house is more comfortable than that in an officecomfortable than company, people will not feel stressed byget stress from their boss and feel more relaxedrelax, to some extentextend improve their mental health.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay effectively outlines both the disadvantages and advantages of working and studying from home, supported by practical examples. However, the response falls short of the required word count and lacks a formal concluding paragraph to clarify a final stance. To raise the essay's quality, write a complete concluding paragraph that summarizes the main points and explicitly states an overall position while expanding on main ideas to meet the length requirement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both sides of the issue are discussed with relevant supporting points, but the response is under the minimum word limit and lacks a clear final concluding position.
Add a dedicated concluding paragraph that synthesizes your main points and clearly delivers your overall viewpoint on the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Body paragraphs are divided logically by points for and against, though the essay ends abruptly without a concluding section.
Ensure structural completeness by including a distinct conclusion and using topic sentences to introduce each paragraph smoothly.
Lexical Resource
A sufficient range of topic-related vocabulary is used correctly, though a few word choices and collocations lack precision.
Focus on precise phrase choices and correct prepositional expressions, such as changing 'to some extend' to 'to some extent'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors and run-on constructions occur frequently.
Practice proper clause structure to avoid dangling elements, ensuring complete grammatical framework before connecting ideas.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive and negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.