In recent times, many suggest dropping subjects such as Art, Sport and Music from the school curriculum for subjects such as Information Technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this suggestion?
Sample Response
These days, many people arguemany opine that subjects such as art, sports, and musicsubjects like art, sports, and music should be replaced bywith more technology-related subjects. I disagree with this view because I believethis opinion as I believe that while it is important for students to be proficient in technology, it should not come at the expense of the arts and sports.
To begin with, arts and sports are important for a well-rounded education. These subjects promote creativity, self-expression, and teamwork, all of which are essential for personal growth and development. Additionally, students who participate in these subjects often have stronger mental well-beingbetter mental health and academic performance. For example, studies have shown that students who participate in music programs have higher math and reading scores and are more likely to graduate from high school.
Moreover, arts and sports are not only forms of entertainment but are also crucial for preserving cultural heritage and promoting social cohesion. Art and music, in particular, are integral components of many cultures, serving as means of expressingconduits for expressing unique identities and traditions. For example, the vibrant rhythmsvibrant and rhythmic beats of traditional African drumming have been passed down through generations, preservingcarrying the stories and history of communities. These art forms play an important role in preserving traditions and promoting diversity, fostering a sense of belonging and shared identity among community members. Similarly, sports events, whether traditional games or modern competitions, bring people together, transcending societal divides.
In conclusion, while technology-related subjects are important in the modern world, they should not come at the expense of the arts and sports. All of these subjects are important for a well-rounded education, personal growth and development, preserving cultural heritage and promoting social cohesion. Therefore, schools should strive to maintain a balanced curriculum that includes all of these subjects.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear, consistent position and develops two persuasive reasons with relevant examples, supported by strong organization and controlled language. The main limitation is some repetition of broad terms such as ‘important’ and a slight imbalance toward defending arts and sports rather than directly examining the proposed curricular trade-off. Refining lexical variety and making that comparison more explicit would produce an even sharper argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses the proposal with a clear position, well-developed reasons, and relevant supporting examples.
Make the comparison with technology subjects slightly more explicit within each main argument to sharpen the evaluation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices are used naturally and unobtrusively.
Strengthen the link between the cultural example and the curriculum decision with one concise interpretive sentence.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, with only minor repetition of general evaluative words.
Vary repeated terms such as ‘important’ with more specific language that states each subject’s distinct educational value.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, with consistently clear and controlled sentences.
Continue refining sentence economy so that densely modified examples remain as direct as the central argument.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In recent times, many suggest dropping subjects such as Art, Sport and Music from the school curriculum for subjects such as Information Technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this suggestion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.